need advice on how to get my brother to take his meds

Hello My good spirit,

In my opinion- if you have a good relationship with any one honestly is the best polices.

If he reacts negatively perhaps ask him if he thinks there has been any changes.

I would say " hey there- wondering how your going today, I've noticed you have been a little different- are you still on your meds?"

Baboo

thanks for your response baboo. i will try.

Hi @mygoodspirit

@Baboo has some great suggestions there.

I know many of the carers here have to have difficult conversations like the one you might have.

People can become defensive when they genuinely don't have insight. To add to Baboo's suggestions around language, the advice I have seen other carers give in this community, talk about what you have observed, 'I have noticed xyz, have you noticed this too?' and finishing the conversation with assuring them of your support is a great way to wrap up.

@Shaz51 - have you in the past had difficult conversations like this with your husband?

You might not get the response you want right away, but you might give him something to think about.

Keep us updated on how you go - as I said, it's a conversation many of us struggle with.

Nik

Hi @NikNik,

Yes I know when he takes his whole medication or half of his medication == because I wil tell him so if he has only taken half .

I just could not beleive the medical team not even trying to change his mind about therapy

Thanks for your advice. Invaluable to get your knowledgeable advice.

Hi @mygoodspirit

how are you today ??

how is everything going

In my experience with my partner either reducing his meds or not taking them at all it has been an ongoing battle. Fortunately he is on a Community Treatment Order so he has to have his fortnightly depot as at least he is getting something in him as he refuses the oral she is supposed to have. He and I have had conversations when he has been well regarding his care plan and it clearly states that if I suspect he is becoming unwell then he will go to the doctor, all well and good in writing but when push comes to shove it is a struggle. My partner has very little insight and the sicker he becomes the more unlikely he is to take meds when just on orals as 'he feels fine!!!' I feel for you I really do as it is so difficult trying to tell someone you think they may be becoming unwell and it must be so very hard for the unwell person hearing that when in their mind all is well!! Would your brother be open to going to his GP with you? Or his pyschiatrist... even if it were on the pretext of just a three monthly catch up to see how he is travelling? Does he have a case worker? Like I said I feel for you as I have been through this scenario many times with my partner and like your brother my partner, when well and on correct meds dose, leads a normal, working life. But when unwell, like mine is now....well it is just hard and even the hospital are struggling to get orals into him!!!All the best !!

Thanks Attahua for your story and advice. I think he is seeing his psych bimonthly or something- but I don't even know how much insight the psych has. My brother is unusual in that he appears completely normal - you wouldn't know what is going on with him unless you spend a lot of time with him and see the subtle signs. I doubt if he is telling the psych really what is going on (i..e the paranoid delusions). It's the toughest thing in the world trying to help him and the ultimate test of patience and goodwill (I'm sure you will agree with that !).

Anyway I wrote a nice considered letter to him about my concerns re. the meds and his increasingly psychotic behaviour. I tried verbally first then I though writing it down might help it to penetrate his wall of resistance better. I can only wait and see what happens next. I find all the worrying and fear so, so draining.

Yep it is definitely draining!!!! My partner( in the early stages of becoming unwell) can appear totally normal as well which is so very frustrating when you know it's a front !!!! Mine is still in hospital refusing his orals and I just want to shake him and yell at him and say 'don't you want to come home???!!' But of course that would be ineffective as he is so unwell and thinks the nurses are trying to poison him , that's his reality at the moment and a genuine fear for him!!!! Can you go with your brother to the pyschiatrist??? My partner doesn't really like me going and I am usually okay with that up until now... from now on, when my partner is well again I think it is important to go as his pysch was telling me some things my partner had been saying six months ago at his last visit when I thought he was well but clearly he was starting to unravel ever so slightly! Is your brother open to you going???

i feel for you. I have seen this in my own life, with my dad. My experience has been that talking to him about it, leaving letters, writing emails, just sent him off the rails. He became very defensive and adament that he is in perfect health. As you say: no insight. In fact, my bringing it up was extremely upsetting for him and his reaction upset everyone else in our family. my advice, from experience: write a list of the concerning things you have seen him do (of course, don't let him see the list). It's so easy to become desensitised to odd behaviour, to accept it as normal. When it's on paper, you might be surprised at exactly how long it's been going on. It might help you make the right decision on next steps - the mental health access line can also provide advice if the list concerns you. On the other hand, you may write it down on paper and realise that the behaviours are just 'quirky' - idiosyncratic. if that's the case, it can only put your mind at ease. I hope this helps. And i hope talking and sharing has been helpful, too. Thanks for sharing your experience with us.