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Dealing with family over the holidays

TheVorticonSenior Contributor22 Oct 2018, 9:41 pm AEDT

Dealing with family over the holidays

For the past few weeks I've been starting to get worried about how I'm going to deal with my parents who I'll be living with for about 2 wks over the Xmas/New Year period (I live interstate and visit them).

We get on well enough, but it's difficult going from being an independent adult to being treated like a bit of a child being told what to do, nagged about stuff etc. Usually by the end of the holidays I regret staying with them for so long.

However the main problem is going to be the weight that I've put on recently vs. my mum commenting about it. As far as I'm concerned the women in my family don't have healthy language around food and body image. My brother's had a strict gym and diet lifestyle that seems to work for him and he's ripped as. Which leaves me with the flabby stomach (which mum decided was appropriate to grab at last time, to make a point about me being fat ), trying to get over my stress-eating-face-stuffing habit, and not being able to walk properly (let alone cycle like I used to) with my bung leg.

I'm dreading the holiday season because I always feel uncomfortable with how I look, but this one is going to be far worse.

All the other blokes in the office are hitting the gym 3-7 days a week, eating right etc. So I can't even get that right.

3 replies

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In response to: Dealing with family over the holidays

CheerBearSenior Contributor23 Oct 2018, 5:09 am AEDT

Re: Dealing with family over the holidays

👋 @TheVorticon

I shuddered a little hearing that your mum grabbed at your stomach 😏 Yuck. I can't stand anti-fatness (pretty sure that's not actually a word there) and can imagine that having such strong and negative opinions about weight and 'health' in your family home could be really hard to tolerate for long, especially if you feel uncomfortable with your looks anyway.

Will you have much chance to have time on your own (an escape) while you're there?

I've had family staying in our (very small house) for the last nearly four weeks. I'm lucky in that we've managed to keep tension and conflict down, but it's still been a challenge. I'm used to doing my own thing in my own way (kids aside - then it's our own thing in our way). It's been a bit tricky at times to go from on-my-own adult to someone's child again. I was given a stern talking to about needing to go to the Dr the other day as I've been sick for a couple of weeks. When I came home armed with medication last night, I copped a big 'told you so'. I could almost feel my rolls-eyes inner teenager coming back out :face_with_rolling_eyes:😉 I wouldn't cope if it extended to weight and image talk 😔

In response to: Re: Dealing with family over the holidays

TheVorticonSenior Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:17 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing with family over the holidays

Thanks for your reply @CheerBear.

I guess it helps to know I'm not the only one with the tricky family dynamic stuff with relatives. I've been sorry to read that it's under such unhappy circumstances for you and your family.

I should get some alone-time while I'm there and I've got my old room to sleep in. One thing that makes it difficult is I never know my parents' schedules beforehand, sometimes with mum doing half-days at work without me knowing about it until she wants my company to go shopping, or dad deciding (only in the morning of one of his days off) that he wants a family outing somewhere. They also turn off the wifi at night which drives me bananas because the house is like in a valley/ditch where there's no reception.

I hope you get better from whatever illness you've caught soon.

In response to: Re: Dealing with family over the holidays

CheerBearSenior Contributor23 Oct 2018, 8:36 pm AEDT

Re: Dealing with family over the holidays

I think the wifi being turned off would be about enough for me on its own @TheVorticon 😉

In all seriousness though, that does sound really tricky in lots of ways. I can imagine that the flooding of Christmasness that's appeared everywhere isn't helping with your lead up to the holidays worries either. It's inescapable already 😏

Thanks for your thoughts. I have a feeling we're not alone at all with those tricky family dynamics. It can be a big stress to work through.

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