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Meg_BCasual Contributor
My husband has just been diagnosed with Bipolar after having been caught having an affair with a colleague. Although he’s now taking medication, I’m concerned that he might cheat again if he gets into a hyper sexual manic state in the future. Has anyone had any experience with bipolar spouses cheating?
In response to: Infidelity and undiagnosed bipolar
JoeTheLionSenior Contributor
Welcome to the forum @Meg_B
Sorry to read about your situation. That would be heartbreaking for anyone and it is perfectly normal to feel powerless.
I hope you are getting support for yourself. Having a counsellor just for you to explore the issues you are dealing with has been helpful for many people dealing with infidelity. An affordable service you can access is Relationships Australia
https://www.relationships.org.au/
That is a huge load you are carrying. I hope you are finding time for yourself, taking time out and looking after your self care. One of the things you can control is doing things that help you to cope and looking after yourself as best you can.
I hope that you will find the forums to be a supportive place for exploring all these issues. Just a tip, if you are replying to someone or wanting to notify or touch base with someone, place an @ before their username, as in @Meg_B
All the best
Joe The Lion
In response to: Infidelity and undiagnosed bipolar
Unknown userMember
Hi @Meg_B
My husband has a BPii diagnosis. I do not know if he has cheated but he has impulsively gone walkabout, each time becoming increasingly suicidal. When hypomanic he went on some dating websites.
To trust again is difficult, I have forgiven my husband and part of this to me means not becoming "historical" and bringing up these indiscretions.
Perhaps it was not so hard for me; after a serious attempt I had nothing but love and compassion for my man.
It took a while and finding a medication that kept him stable helped too.
This does not mean that I have my head in the sand. I am well aware he could relapse. While he is happy to actively engage in treatment and let me be involved in that process I will continue to support him. This is not always easy.
Seeing a counselor may help you with boundary setting. If he wants to rebuild trust, transparency is essential, I would not think it unreasonable for him to give you access to his phone, email etc.
I will tag you in some threads that may be of interest to you.
Darcy
In response to: Infidelity and undiagnosed bipolar
Sophie1Senior Contributor
@Meg_B thankyou for sharing something so intimate and painful - your situation is complex and will require you to reach out and get all the support you can find - please keep reaching out, reading about bipolar, seeking professional counselling and looking through forums like this - I’ve loved my bipolar partner for 21 yrs now - totally doable - however has been rough at times and I really I have kicked myself for not educating myself sooner (took almost 20yrs before I really educated myself ) and seeking support as a spouse of a person with bipolar .. don’t wait as long as I did - I suffered in silence and bore a lot of stress in isolation and guessing when I needn’t have... I recommend a book Called ‘when someone you love is bipolar’ by Cynthia Last ... it really changed my views and educated me and helped sooooo much ... I hope it helps you too
In response to: Infidelity and undiagnosed bipolar
Unknown userMember
Hi @Meg_B 
I just wanted to check-in and see how things have been for you, since your husband started taking medication for Bipolar? How have you both been travelling?
Kindest,
Amour_Et_Psyché
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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