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Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

NursieNew Contributor16 Oct 2018, 7:29 am AEDT

Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

I am a registered nurse who’s in-between jobs and really enjoying the extra time I’m getting w my bf. My psychiatrist and therapist (he does both) is pushing me to get a part time job in the evening so I can practice functioning on my own, without my boyfriend or a close friend (I tend to cling and “use them to feel stable in my identity” or something). My bf is a little clingy too and we both just want to enjoy this time. I’ve been miserable for so long and am finally enjoying myself. Do I follow my shrink’s instructions? He’s never led me astray but has always pushed for space between my bf and me, even though we have a relatively peaceful and very happy relationship...

3 replies

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In response to: Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

MazaritaSenior Contributor16 Oct 2018, 9:38 am AEDT

Re: Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

Hi @Nursie, welcome to the forum.

If it was me in your situation, I would follow what feels right inside myself. That would be spending time with your boyfriend and enjoying things while that is happening. Your therapist may believe that you and your boyfriend are 'co-dependent'. Personally, I've never liked that term as it implies that humans can be completely independent, when it seems clear to me that interdependency is how we all live.

I may be giving you dodgy advice though. I am not an expert. These are just words from a fellow mental illness sufferer, who believes that taking joy when it comes is the way to go.

Wishing you the best.

In response to: Re: Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

NursieNew Contributor16 Oct 2018, 9:41 am AEDT

Re: Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

Thank you friend! I know, bc of my problems sometimes I have a hard time deciphering whether my instincts are looking out for me or not. I appreciate your input ☺️

In response to: Re: Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

MazaritaSenior Contributor16 Oct 2018, 9:45 am AEDT

Re: Therapist thinks I need space from my bf

You're welcome, @Nursie!

I too have great respect for my psychiatrist, who I've been seeing for the past three years. But I think it's important in all therapy that we are the ones in the driving seat of our own lives. To me, a psychiatrist is an advisor, or maybe a kind of collaborator in helping me navigate a tricky path through life with mental illness. But still I believe we are the only ones who can make the final decision on what's right for ourselves. If the worst happens, and it turns out we made the wrong decision, hopefully the psychiatrist will still be there to help us get back on track. Well wishes to you!

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