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OCD

anonstarsNew Contributor07 Oct 2018, 8:25 am AEDT

OCD

Hi, I’m new to this forum. I read a few posts about experiences of some people going through OCD on a tough night and felt like I needed to sort out my thoughts and share them with someone and signed up on this site. First I’ll provide a little background.. I’m twenty years old and have been suffering with this mental illness since I was around fourteen and instead of it getting better over time, it has just progressed to be at its worst these days making me think that I’ll never be rid of this illness. I don’t know what caused it and how to cure it. Its consuming all my energy because my ocd is made up of ridiculous rituals and extremely intrusive thoughts that control my behavior, and if I don’t do them I feel like I’ll die or someone else will die. I know it sounds exaggerated but anyone who has experienced this, knows its not. I decided to make a list of the obsessive rituals that are currently taking over my life, in a bad way.

1. I can’t rouch any switches, door handles, knobs or any kind of buttons without washing my hands raw afterwards because I fear of the dirt and germs they have on them.

2. Everytime after I wash my hands, I have to clean with a sanitizer all the things I’m going to need to use/touch because they have the dirt of before I washed my hands. (I realize this is crazy)

4. I use plastic disposable gloves to clean.

5. I don’t touch anything if I touch my face or hair because of “oily” fingers.

6. Washing bedsheets, towels or undergarments together with clothes is impossible for me. My reasoning is that each kind of cloth has different germs.

7. Find it uneasy to sit on my bed if my clothes are sweaty or dirty, since I’ll have to wash my sheets again then.

8. Whenever I clean my room, it has to be in a specific order, and if I miss it then I have to do it all over again.

9. If someone touches me I have to wash myself and even if their clothes touch me I’ll have to do laundry the second I get a chance to do so.

10. I can't sit on other people’s chairs/beds/furniture if I’m wearing the clothes with which I sleep on my bed or sofas.

11. I have to separate the clothes that I wear outside and inside of my house and they can never be stacked together because the outside clothes are more contaminated than the inside ones.

12. Certain rituals, like checking, redoing and repeating things multiple times. Like having to refold a shirt if I didn’t hold it from a certain place etc.

Bottom line is, it’ll take me forever to list everything, this is just the gist of it. I have been to psychologist and it hasn’t helped. Nothing helps. I’m so tired and exhausted of living like this. The horrible intrusive thoughts and images I get in my mind are driving me crazy. I want some kind of relief, if anyone knows how to make ocd better pls pls pls leave a reply. Thank you for reading this longg post.

2 replies

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In response to: OCD

Unknown userMember08 Oct 2018, 4:15 pm AEDT

Re: OCD

Hello @anonstars

Welcome to the forums, it is nice to meet you 🙂

It sounds like you are dealing with an awful lot of anxiety and worry about germs on top of people dying if you don't do the obsessive ritual, I can't imagine how tough all of that is and how even doing the basic things very difficult.

It does seem like you are managing all of this all on your own though if you are not seeing a Psychologist, it is very important you have support for all of this, as it is too much on your own. Most people find it difficult to find a Psychologist they feel comfortable with and it can take trying different ones to find one that you connect with and trust to then be able to work on the underlying cause of the anxiety. And then also being able to find useful strategies that help you feel in control and in the present.

There are also some other things that people find helpful such as attending support groups, programs and mindfulness activities that help you feel less alone and more connected to others, also learn what works for them and that gives you ideas of what to try next.

It is good you are reaching out here on the forums for some much needed support, you might like to Introduce Yourself here.

I look forward to getting to know you better,

Lunar

In response to: OCD

AnxiousMeSenior Contributor16 Dec 2018, 4:42 pm AEDT

Re: OCD

@anonstars Hey mate

I was diagnosed with Pure O OCD when i was 19-20 i am now 27 Looking back i think iv had it most of my life to some degree

but didn’t really notice it until like a switch it got real bad but after awhile i got over that certain fear at the time now sure 100% how i did it but I’m thinking not jumping on google and searching “am i this?”(which is my form of checking) and eventually my ocd anxiety let go of that fear because I wasn’t feeding it i know its hard but every time you colour code your pegs or do something else that eases anxiety even for a moment actually feeds your fear so me using google feeds my fear ect its worse when i google because you will see symptoms of deseases or mental illness’s you don’t have and you will freak yourself out about it then your OCD has something else to cling to vicious cycle lol sorry to waffle on!

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