My wife has bipolar 2

Hi @Tryingtostaystr

Lack of insight is a hard one, often patients seek help during depressive phases only.

I have come to learn that we can live well in spite of a mental illness, and that relationships can thrive, even though they may be different from how we imagined they should be.

Have you got supports in place for yourself? I found going to some psych education really helpful.

I will tag you in a couple if talks that I found very helpful.

I understand pretty much how you feel. My bi-polar 36 yr old daughter never thinks she is irritable and can get upset over little things...like my choice of tv programs to watch, asking me if I fed the dog or let it out enough, loaded the dishwasher her way, etc. If she could support herself I could get her to move out, but I'm afraid of how she would survive. And I think she has fooled her therapist into thinking she is fine. She can be really sweet and smart when she wants to be.I have tried to explain to my friends and doctors how it is to live with her, not knowing what kind of mood she will be in, or how scary a psychotic break is, but words just don't really get it across to them. If you find a way to handle her without it being World War III, let me know! I'm new to this forum so hopefully there is somebody out there that knows.

Hi @Tryingtostaystr - just wanted to check in and see how you are doing and if any of the replies above were comforting or helpful? Hope we keep seeing you around sounds like you could really benefit from the support here from people who have been through similar to you....

Keep reaching out - you need support too.

Tryingtostaystr

I can relate to the feelings of loneliness being in a similiar situation. Wife with severe mental health issues and still two kids at home, although mine are young adults now and just getting ready to leave home. What you asked has been a question plagueing me for some time now as well. When do you walk away ? I feel very trapped in my own relationship as well because no they are definitely not the women we married now, I dont feel i love her anymore after all the selfishnesh that seems par for the course with people suffering mental health and the thought that the damage they are doing to the rest of the family may be irreperable. Personally i think your priority should be yourself and your two girls. One plan i had in mind for myself was to set my wife up with as much support she needed and then leave. Only problem is my conscience wont let me. So here we are. Stuck in a holding pattern dominated and dictated by my wife's illness. I am sorry if i dont have an answer. I am kind of hopeing just knowing your not alone may help. Courage friend.

Hi @s-jay

Thanks for yoru support and timely message, you can get caught in the web, hoping you are doing thr right thing.

I just take each moment day by day. the video from AWARE changed me, as for the last 5yrs i have been running for self care and also achive my own goals and as I have stopped in last 12mths i notice how depression can creep in. My running kept me away from it and the video describe how male carers used running or cyclying as their own time to manage.

@Paully

I have tagged you in the talk @Tryingtostaystr mentioned.

Hi @Paully

I can sense your feelings so well and I always say next year I will make the decision, but 4 yrs go by and I am still undecided.

I spoke with a friend who was raised by his mum with bipolar in which they found that when the parents seperated it was easier, however by the age of 13, him and his younger sisters moved to their father. Now they have no relationship with their mother.

I liked to believe that I left my wife would have to take better self care of herself and create her own support systems, which I belive she would do, but so frustrating why a family has to be seperated for this to occur. That is another challenge I am working on. My coping now is to the best I can until my daughters reach highschool, stilll try to have my own life and not be taken to far down and stay away from depression.

How long have you been caring for your wife and what do you think has stopped you from moving on and having a new life.

Hi @Former-Member

You mentioned in a post that to get bloods checked periodically, what would you suggest?

At present, we have a support team of a psychologist (1 per mth) Psychiatrist (1 per 2mths) and GP 1 per 2mths.

I had to push after 5mths to get new blood tests, I feel my wife isnt getting the consistent treatment. Any suggestions?

@Tryingtostaystr

Forum guidelines prohibit specific medication details and what could be deemed as medical advice, the information is readily available on the internet, just google " monitoring ... (drug name)". You can see what is recommended and at what intervals for the meds your wife is on. The prescribing doc is the one ultimately responsible for the monitoring program, but the administration of it (ie who writes pathology slip, takes bloods, does ECG etc). can be pdoc or GP - it doesn't matter who as long as communication occurs and all on same page. It is more practical for us to get tests done at GP. I make sure we book for the next appt as we leave from the last appt. (Mr Darcy not very medical and he appreciates my assistance with this) and it pays to keep an eye on things, Mr D's tests got out of sync as he had an abnormality, pdoc adjusted meds and GP did extra testing. I needed to put on my caregiver hat during this process and go to appts with Mr D to get routine monitoring back on track.

Thanks Darcy for the inclusion.