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I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

AlessaStarsContributor04 Oct 2018, 5:02 am AEST

I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

After years of excruciating testing of different medications that made me a zombie, the therapist ordered genetic testing to see why all the medications zombify me. She found out that I cannot metabolize the medications to treat my disorder. So instead of giving up i had to do something because i cant handle feeling like this forever. I changed my diet i drink plenty of water i get a good nights rest i exercize even when i dont feel like it and I shower and throw on make up even when I don't want to in the hopes ill feel better if i look better. Im single so i dont have the relationship stress and so my home can be a safehaven. I changed everything i could think of and yet I am stuck in one of my worst depression episodes I have ever encountered. Its miserable and I just dont know what else i can change to get some relief. I cant continue living feeling like this. This isnt even living. I feel so disconnected and have such an excrutiating pain twisting in my chest.

6 replies

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In response to: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

BunniekinsSenior Contributor04 Oct 2018, 5:29 am AEST

Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

@AlessaStars Hi AlessaStars and welcome to the forums. Are you on anti depressants? I know that anti depressants can make the depression worse for those with bipolar. I have bipolar and schizoaffactive disorder. Drinking alcohol is also a no no for those with bipolar as it is a depressant.

I have the more manic type of bipolar although I did spend about a year sleeping all day due to a depressive episode. I hope this helps a bit. greenpea

In response to: Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

AlessaStarsContributor04 Oct 2018, 8:56 am AEST

Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

I am not on antidepressants as i cannot metabolize those either but before they figured out I was bipolar and not just depressed they hd given me ntidepressants and they took my depression to a scary level. I am very thankful to not have to deal with the horrible medication effects anymore. My mother had schioaffective disorder and she had alot of issues with her meds too...sometimes i wonder if she may have had the same metabolization issue i have because they ddint have this genetic testing back in the day.

In response to: Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

AlessaStarsContributor04 Oct 2018, 8:58 am AEST

Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

And I'm also lucky ive never liked alcohol. And Ive been sober for a few years now from heroin and k2 thank god.

In response to: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

Unknown userMember04 Oct 2018, 3:24 pm AEST

Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

Hi @AlessaStars,

Welcome to the SANE Forums! There are so many wonderful and supportive people here on the SANE Forums who can personally relate to medications failing to work and the resulting sense that they are trapped in a deep state of depression. Talking to such people can remind us that we are not alone in our journey, and in some way we are connected through our struggles; which can be important to experience when you are feeling so disconnected!

I'm sorry that you have not received many replies on this post. If you have not commented on other threads, you may want to get to know other people with lived experience of mental illness in the "Introduce yourself here" thread.

It sounds like you have gone through utter turmoil for the past three years with medications @AlessaStars! I am sorry that you had to go through this. Regardless, you show such strength and determination trying to find new ways to look after yourself (e.g., changing your diet, drinking water, exercising, getting a good night's sleep). It sounds like you are happy being single and having more time to look after yourself; however, despite all your efforts, you are stuck in one of the worst depression episodes you've ever encountered. I can't imagine hopeless it must all be feeling. It is understandable, in this light, you can't continue living like this and you feel like you aren't even living in the first place - more so surviving! It sounds like the depression has been so painful it has even translated to physiological pain in your chest. Consequently, I can imagine you must be so desperate for some relief! Hopefully, others like @Bunniekins, will ask you some important questions to consider, or give you some suggestions, that could help you to cope through this difficult period.

Please take care of yourself and reach out in the Forums, if you need!

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

In response to: Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

AlessaStarsContributor05 Oct 2018, 11:36 pm AEST

Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

I am not trying to downplay others suffering when i say this so anyone who is struggling w meds please dont take it personally but I am having trouble connecting w the people stuck in that situation now that i know theres not one medication left to try. I feel like if theres were still options for meds or other ways to alter my lifestyle that i would have hope as i have in the past. And need to find some way to have some relief without turning to street drugs bc i will never go back to that as it just creates more problems in the long run. There has to be something i can do. I wish my therapist was more helpful too shes trained to help ppl w mental health issues and yet her advice is you have bipolar disorder so you need to learn to deal with it but i cant even watch a tv show without being triggered into a crying spell. There has to be something that can help even if its just a slight improvement ill b happy about it. I hate feeling like my life is a meaningless existence. I had to apply for disability bc every job kept firing me bc im so symptomatic and i was raised by dad that your worth depends on of how far you climb the ladder of success so ofcourse his thought is so you applied for disability? So u are going to be a loser for the rest of your life? I wish my mom was still around as shes the only family who understands me bc she had to struggle with her schizoaffective disorder. But anyways what i was trying to say was life feels meaningless now that i cant have a career and raise children (dcf took my son bc they said i am not mentally stable enough to raise a child) i feel like i am being cheated out of all the good things in life. Im sure others can agree with this feeling?

In response to: Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

AlessaStarsContributor05 Oct 2018, 11:43 pm AEST

Re: I have bipolar disorder and cant metabolize the meds

oh and thank you for the advice amour_et_psyché about trying other forums. If there is certainly one thing i could use its human contact even through the forums bc i isolate when I am feeling this way plus i feel even more of the need to isolate bc a few months ago i went thru a breakup and he showed all my old friends videos he recorded of me having a manic episode and shared it with them and now they all dont want to talk because they think im crazy and they feel bad for my boyfriend that he had to endure it. If only more people were understanding. I thought my friends would be considering they each had thier own issues...so needless to say now i dont have anyone..

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