PMDD Despair

I think I have PMDD. I'm 25, been on birth control for 5 years, so I don't get a "real" period. But I do get severe PMS, and it feels like it's getting worse. I say I have PMDD, but I've never been diagnosed or really sought treatment for it. But in the week before my period, I get incredibly moody. Last night I was enraged at my husband for something very small and stupid. But the rage was that whole body trembling, don't know what's going to come out of my mouth, wall punching screaming rage. This is very out of character for me, because I am usually calm, cheerful and non confrontational. But when that rage comes over me, I really don't feel like I can help it. As unreasonable as I know I'm being, I feel helpless. And today, instead of rage, my feelings are like a card house. My husband just told me the table was dirty, and I had to hide in the bathroom to cry. I've been on the verge of tears all day for no reason. Last month was the same thing, and all I did was cocoon myself into the couch the whole day, because I was so overwhelmingly depressed. And I'm very scared of pushing my husband away, because I know he thinks I'm crazy and so do I. He avoids me and snaps at me, which I completely understand but also makes me feel so alone. Or if I'm enraged, so much more enraged. I lash out at my dog too, because he's weaker than me. This is the main reason I'm not having kids, because I'm such a bully. I'd make a deplorable mother. (My husband has kids already so it's fine anyway. They don't live with us.) And this time, the symptoms have started a week early, which is unbearable. I'm trying very, very hard to be normal, but like I say, I feel very helpless before these feelings.

I do plan on seeking treatment for this this month. I've been on anti depressants on and off for years. Mostly off, because I make the mistake of stopping taking them after I feel like I don't need them anymore. Clearly I do. I just wanted to get all this off my chest. Thanks so much for any advice.