Anxiety is exhausting

Hi

i have anxiety. I was put onto anti-depressants on the weekend after I couldn’t stop crying. After 5 years in a very stressful job, which I have now finished, and my boyfriend ending our relationship, I just reached my limit. I am scared. My brain doesn’t stop thinking. I barely sleep. I just want to pull my brain out just so I can rest. All I think about is my ex and our relationship and things he has said to me since our breakup.

i was suppose to move in with him but he pulled out last minute. Turns out he has deep commitment issues that flared up his anxiety and depression. Instead of talking to me and us resolving it, he ended our relationship. When he told me that the move was messing with his head, I was reasonable and told him that we didn’t have to do it. I was hurt by all of his actions but I understood and was willing to stand by him while he fixed himself up. We agreed to be friends. After he broke up with me, I felt that there were many mixed messages sent my way. Even up to last week there was. So that’s all I have been thinking about. He made it clear that he has commitment issues and is worried about where his headspace goes but he won’t really answer any of my questions either. I was going to suggest some kind of unconventional relationship to him so he doesn’t feel pressure. This whole situation is making my anxiety worse. I haven’t told him that I am anxious, perhaps depressed, and now on anti-depressants. I have gone no contact for the last week but this doesn’t seem to be helping. It has gotten to the point where it is really affecting my life. All I do is stay in bed. Going to the shops is an effort. I can’t eat and I have lost weight. My psych appointment isn’t until mid September. I feel so exhausted and I am not even doing anything.

Thanks for listening.