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Am I Really Depressed?

syntaxerrorCasual Contributor30 Aug 2018, 12:00 am AEST

Am I Really Depressed?

Hi. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety i think january (it started from december) because of a very huge breakdown, i took meds and frequently visited the psychiatrist until May and i stopped cause i thought i felt better (my mom told me that i should stop taking them since i felt better and i am aware that withdrawing from them can cause side-effects). So, i've spent months up until now without meds and did okay and just a few weeks ago i felt so down, like my chest is really heavy -- i get sad and anxious about the smallest things and think about them a lot and i strongly feel like staying at home everyday. sometimes i don't even sleep at all.

But. am i really depressed? how could i have survived without meds for months? i'm honestly so conflicted and troubled right now. Sometimes i think to myself that, "what if i'm just a phony?", "do i even deserve help?"

i don't know. i just really feel like shit. what if i'm a phony and i'm not aware of it? and the thought of it makes me so anxious and sad i don't know anymore.

4 replies

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In response to: Am I Really Depressed?

OwlunarSenior Contributor30 Aug 2018, 12:08 am AEST

Re: Am I Really Depressed?

Hi @syntaxerror

It does sound as if you are really battling and maybe you are depressed but you are not a phony and you sound as if you need help

It's not a good idea to stop taking medication without professional supervision - people try it at times and it can be pretty uncomfortable and unpleasant so I feel it can't do any harm to reach out - and a good place to start is with your doctor -

Or even ring Life Line and there are other services - I know Life Line is 13 11 14 and talk to them - there is no need to keep feeling so down and uncertain about life -

And yes - you deserve help - everyone does - everyone is worthwhile - you too

All the best

Dec

In response to: Re: Am I Really Depressed?

Unknown userMember30 Aug 2018, 1:17 pm AEST

Re: Am I Really Depressed?

Welcome to the forums @syntaxerror 🌻

It's really common for people living with depression and anxiety, and in fact any mental health issue, to question the validity of their experience. Sometimes the very nature of that critical questioning can actually be part of the language of the illness, which tells us negative stuff about ourselves.

I'm really glad that instead of listneing to that, you decided to reach out and connect with the forums for some support. That's something to feel proud of.

As you're new to the community, I thought I'd drop in a link to our introduction thread. If you feel up to it, you can jump in and introduce yourself to the community. Look forward to seeing you around the forums 😊

In response to: Re: Am I Really Depressed?

outlanderSenior Contributor31 Aug 2018, 11:44 am AEST

Re: Am I Really Depressed?

hello @syntaxerror and welcome!

both @Owlunar and @Former-Member have covered things quite well. i dont think your a phoney either. you meantioned you had a psychiatrist which they deal with medications, perhaps its a good idea to talk to them again about what might be best or you in regards to medications.

have you seen a psychologist? it might be helpful for you to talk to someone who is qualifed in 'talk therapy' as well to learn how to manage your emotions, work through what caused your breakdown and learn how to move on from that too

In response to: Am I Really Depressed?

utopiaSenior Contributor31 Aug 2018, 2:53 pm AEST

Re: Am I Really Depressed?

Are you really depressed @syntaxerror

I'd say yes. It's unfortunately quite normal when depression hits that we have these strong negative thoughts "I'm not worth it" - "what if they think I'm faking it" etc etc. That is a sign itself - the negative self talk.

Many people once they feel better decide to go off their meds. Often they don't realise that the reason they are feeling good is because they are taking those meds.

And yes, for a short while you 'cope'. But you still do have depression. The symptoms are just temporarily reduced at the moment.

But now it sounds like your depression is back in full swing. So, I'd suggest booking an appointment to see your psychiatrist again. No embarrassment over stopping your meds. Many of us have done this at least once, so your psychiatrist will fully understand.

But the sooner you get back on the medications, the better you will feel.

Please let us know how you get on. I hope you can get an appointment quickly.

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