Life fails!

Tomorrow I am supposed to be going to the city to interview service providers to find my best fit for my NDIS plan. I cba at the moment but cannot put it off either.

I freaking give up on myself. I am a lost cause I think.

I lie in bed all day, yet don't sleep properly (if I do sleep all my dreams are the same about my mother dying). I used to think these dreams were all a message from her to keep on keeping on. Now I am utterly confused!

Anyway that's where I am now. Not in crisis but not happy either.

Signed, the ugly Queen.

I feel like nobody really 'gets' me or bothers trying to understand.

Crying.

I've gotta take a break, so ciao for now.

@Queenie what a rough time you are going through. Sounds like depression has his grasp on you at the moment.

Please don't drop Uni. Just leave it for a while. Hopefully this period will soon pass and you'll be able to study again.

Thinking of you and sending you some love and support.

Hugs @Queenie

Sorry to hear how tough things have been lately, @Queenie. I'm sure things won't always feel like they do right now. It sounds like you've been doing really well with your course. I hope the week off helps with feeling able to tackle it again. Take care 🙂

Hey @outlander, I've been through the wringer, but am slowly coming out the other side. I just got home yesterday from a week at the recovery house where I worked pretty darn hard on myself. I still have unbelievable paranoia and anxiety associated with that, but am getting there bit by bit. Thank you for asking

Thanks @outlander. I managed to return to study a different unit and I feel a little more focused at the moment. How long that is going to last is anyone's guess but I am gripping it with both hands earnestly. I still haven't come to the conclusion whether or not I should give up on my university aspirations yet. I am just concentrating on passing this course first. I am miles behind but am slowly clawing back some anyway. By this time next year I will have to have it complete in order to graduate on time. I just keep on picturing myself on the graduation gown and cap. We also receive a plaque as well as our certificate, so am concentrating on that. I've sort of let myself fall back a bit and say I don't have to be the best, just so long as I pass. I think I am putting too much unnecessary pressure on myself.

Baby steps bit by bit. I think for some, like me, it's the only way to progress.