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When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Struggling with work and relationships..

Finding hard to tell the difference between being a lazy ..... and my illness.

.I think I'm up but apparently am very quiet at the moment. Losing myself in Vidoe games .. losing touch with my tennage duaghters ( I think thats a given ). Losing touch with my wife..we have spent less than 45 minutes talking in the last 4-5 days..I dont know what to talk about

Just going through the motions ..been faking it but now it just feels like a lie built on a house of cards ..

I'm waiting for the breeze..

8 replies

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In response to: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Can you have a 'sit down family dinner', with the TV off and phones away? That might help promote conversation, if you want an excuse. If you haven't cooked the meal yourself, you can always compliment the chef. News and politics might also be interesting - if you're all of a similar bent, or if you can disagree thoughtfully. What's up with school or a hobby might also be fruitful, but it might be considered intrusive, if you've been quiet.

In response to: Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Hi @Tight-Control

I think sometimes we all have moments where we feel pretty unmotivated, over-worked and just plain fed-up; wanting to lose ourselves in video games or shows and disconnect from “real life” a little bit.

I know this might sound a bit backwards, but sometimes I find that noticing I’m feeling this way can become my encouragement to try and get back into my life, to try something new and try to connect with people for support. It sounds like you’ve been losing touch with the things and people who are important to you a little bit lately, so I’m wondering what ways you could re-engage and reconnect with them? @CannonSalt made some great suggestions for some ways to get the ball rolling!

Looking forward to hearing from you. I hope you can find your inspiration again!

supernova.

In response to: Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Just last week someone mentioned "fake it til you make it" ... in a singing context... and I quietly thought the same as you.. and yes others may have to carry you til you get there.

I think it can be tricky to tell. I believe taken to an extreme it is a form of dissociation.

But then again sometimes it gives us courage to do the things we dont feel we are able... but have a go anyway.

Sometimes we just need a bit of time out.

Glad to see you @Tight-Control

In response to: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

The brezze will come - try and interact with your children go for a walk, a cup of tea - relax and enjoy each others company. No need for any heavy coversation, being together will make you feel better. x

In response to: Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Hi @Tight-Control

I'm glad you posted about that, I'm feeling somewhat similar in my job/life. Attempting to put on a good 'face' for everythign and wondering if im sinking or managing to stay afloat... definitely not swimming in any direction yet! but perhaps life is about doing all three at different times, and knowing when to ask for help or use strategies to help you stop sinking - or something or other... I'm trying to focus on the basic 5 as my psychologist says - 1. food - eating 3 meals a day (mostly!) 2. sleep - getting enough (failing!), 3. limit/no alcohol (doing ok there), socialising (fail... unless saying hello as i run up the corridor at work counts lol) and oops whats the last one?? i cant remember doh!

LJ

In response to: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

When ya crash, sorry couldn’t help myself. Its never fake

In response to: Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

I can relate to 'faking it'.

I am always putting on a 'fake happy face' at work. Everyone at work thinks I am so happy and good all the time. Even at home - I don't show my husband or kids how I am 'really'. I always put on a brave face. But in reality I am so not happy, so not good.

It's hard because you want people to help you but maybe I am scared of seeking the help; I think perhaps in the fear of being judged, talked about and then labelled. I am scared of showing my true self and the only time this happens is when I completely break down at the doctors or in a mental health unit.

It's so emotional draining to keep doing this.

In response to: Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

Re: When does fake it till you Make it become a lie.

An interesting question. I can certainly relate to faking it!

My answer is probably a bit simplistic. But basically when it becomes unhealthy...

As in when "faking it" is helping you "make it". It sounds like at the moment that "faking it" is masking the problem and maybe even preventing you from "making it"? But I don't know you or the problems you're facing so I can't answer for you.

In my own experience. I fake it all the time at work. But honestly anyone who deals with customer service has to, to some extent.

In my personal relationships it depends on the person. The majority of my friends don't need to know all the details of my life. But I have a few who I can confide in. There is always a temptation to gloss over things and I often do because I believe that only focusing on the negative isnt healthy. But I know that if things start to go badly there are people who I can be honest with and I can trust them to respond pretty well.

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