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Early stages of recovery

MumsthewordCasual Contributor27 May 2018, 9:55 am AEST

Early stages of recovery

Hi all
My beautiful and talented 19 year old daughter had her first psychotic episode early this year. It feels like it came out of the blue as MI is not in the family. The cause is unknown.
She has been home from hospital about 6 weeks and seems to be doing extremely well, albeit with some side effects from medication (we are working on these)
I am struggling with a few things....but what is foremost in my mind atm is helping her with recovery as best I can.
I am a single parent and work full time in a well paid position, away 11 hours a day with travel time. I had some time off initially and have now returned to work. I would love to be home with her and she has said she would like me to be home more to go on outings and do things together.
We have and continue to develop a trusting and loving bond since her illness especially as one of her delusions was that I was an imposter.
Being an only income earner worries me but I have to what is best for her at this important time in recovery. I feel if i go part time, i will fall further behind in keeping up with work technology given i have work demands of being in a high level position. I have tried speaking to the Manager but they dont understand. I got the impression they think because she is out of hospital that she is back to normal, despite me saying recovery can take years.
I feel i need to give up my position and find part time work locally that is less stressful, that means less income. I have also become disengaged in work as my focus is on my daughter and her recovery.
Has anyone been through the same thinking process? Has your decision worked for you?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

7 replies

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In response to: Early stages of recovery

Unknown userMember28 May 2018, 2:04 pm AEST

Re: Early stages of recovery

Hi @Mumstheword,

As you can see I've just moved your post over here, where it's a bit better suited and more of the community can connect with you

This sounds like such a tough position to be in. On the one hand it is truely beautiful to hear that you and your daughter have connected and bonded through obstacles and that she is going through a recovery stage now. But then how difficult that your work isn't understanding things, unfortunately this is so common and so disappointing. Is sounds like a lot of pressure.

We have a lot of wonderful carers that have dealt with some challenging decisions as well and I am sure you will get some great responses soon.

In response to: Early stages of recovery

Unknown userMember28 May 2018, 4:43 pm AEST

Re: Early stages of recovery

Hi @Mumstheword

Firstly what a loving and caring mother you are - the bond you have and are nurturing with your daughter is very special indeed and in my mind is what is most important.

It would be ideal if you could work less hours closer to home to spend more time with your daughter aiding in her recovery if that does not incur financial hardship which can bring its own set of stressors. If you can get by it would be a good thing for both of you - and there could always be scope to go back to full time work when your daughter's mental health improves.

I was a little concerned when you stated the cause of your daughter's psychosis was unknown and that there was no mental health disorders in your family, so genetic predisposition was unlikely. Is there any possibility of trauma, severe ongoing stress, bullying or drug use etc that your daughter may not have revealed to anyone? A lot of teenagers will not tell anyone because they are embarrassed or it's too painful to talk about. This may not be the case at all - I mentioned it because in order for a satisfactory recovery and to prevent relapse, together with medication, addressing any issues in counselling that may have triggered the psychosis is essential in my life experience (my daughter had a breakdown around the same age).

Wishing you all the best with balancing work and quality time with your daughter - the loving bond you both share will see your daughter through to a better place.

In response to: Early stages of recovery

MumsthewordCasual Contributor28 May 2018, 6:05 pm AEST

Re: Early stages of recovery

Thank you @Former-Member
We are lucky to have found a silver lining in challenging circumstances.
One day at a time and we will get there together ☺

In response to: Early stages of recovery

MumsthewordCasual Contributor28 May 2018, 6:28 pm AEST

Re: Early stages of recovery

Hi -Enigma-
Thank you for your thoughtful response.
I hope to speak to the Manager again tomorrow and request working 2 days a week at least until the end of the year. In the meantime will look for work locally.
Yes she has baffled Dr's. As far as we know her episode was not due to drugs. She was an A grade Uni student and may have put pressure on herself but they dont think that is the cause. Bullying is always a possibility these days with anyone, not that she has ever mentioned being bullied. She did go through some social anxiety as a young child but she got over that and excelled. I am unsure about any correlation with this.
I agree, regarding knowing the triggers for recovery and addressing any issues. The thing also with her at the moment is she is not accepting MI. To her it was due to a virus or bacteria. She also is wanting to look forward and not explore what possibly triggered her episode. Her care team will work with her on this. She doesnt believe it will happen again. I hope she is right.
I hope your daughter recovered well.
Thank you again for your thoughts and suggestions x

In response to: Early stages of recovery

TrinkyNew Contributor21 Aug 2018, 9:32 pm AEST

Re: Early stages of recovery

Hi @Mumstheword

I hope you find a solution with regards to work/home balance. I'm new to the forum but have a similar story. My daughter's 24 & in her word "stepped off the world" about 4-5 yrs ago. As a single mum, I've supported her through this nightmare of MI. She has PTSD , social anxiety, separation anxiety, panic disorder & depression. It's been an ongoing saga of medical visits but she's in a routine with a psychiatrist, psychologist, gp and soon, a dietician. She does get a disability pension which is what i thought I'd share. It was really hard to get but with dr letters and a phone interview she was approved. It helps for bills etc. My work is sort of supportive. I work close to home amd as a teacher, much of my non teaching work can be done at home. My main issue is finding hours in the day. Because my daughter is housebound and only feels safe to go out with me, it puts a lot of pressure on me to get her out in the car daily. It is what it is. So maybe to reduce your financial burden you might be able to look into the disability payment. Good luck🙂

In response to: Early stages of recovery

NetskiCasual Contributor23 Aug 2018, 2:40 pm AEST

Re: Early stages of recovery

Hi @Mumstheword, when we single parent and work and we are faced with this crisis it is so hard.

the past 9 months I have continued full time due to finances but moved my hours to suit appointments with my 21 year old. It does work and for me I find that my work in last few months is my place I can switch off for a few hours and loose myself in work

you will find the right balance .. good luck

In response to: Re: Early stages of recovery

MumsthewordCasual Contributor23 Aug 2018, 6:30 pm AEST

Re: Early stages of recovery

Thank you @Netski
We are finally finding a balance.....I think 🤔
My daughter has gone back to study 2 days a week, she then needs the next
day to rest. I have had the next 2 days off to do things together and go
places. She wants to do 1 day of work experience so I will go to 4 days a
week when she secures that.
Thankfully she is recovering well ☺
And......finally after many many months 😣 she has a centrelink health care
card so at least medications are now discounted.
Hope your daughter is doing well x

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