Denial, what you can do about it

When you really believe your partner has a mental health issue it can be so frustrating when they put up the wall to any possibility. Or, they have a history of diagnosed MI and wont get a review.

In the first example with no previous MI issues there is a possibility that your partners behaviour is his/her personality. Separating personality/MI isnt easy for non professional mental health workers. Either way you need and deserve an answer as you are the recipient of the moods, the odd behaviour or other symptoms. So what can you do?

Youve asked him many times to attend family counseling for example. So, you go yourself, alone. The reason is simple, you are needing to know strategies in how to cope with him.

The test comes when he asks why you are going counseling. Dont hide the truth- coping ideas with his behaviour. When he wants to know what you have spoken about, thats when you DO NOT devulge such information. You reply "you can come along just to listen if you like". If he wont go then thats a reflection of his lack of interest in your well being.

Denial is a stubbornness that some partners endure for many years. Not everyone has insight into their illnesses. Not everyone cares what life is like for others to put up with someone not medicated or in therapy when they should be. For a partner to go along to confirm if they have or have not got a MI problem is to show care for you or in marital terms, willing to sort his/her relationship issues out.

That's a basic duty of everyone that enjoys having a partner...that each cares for the others happiness.

If your partner is in denial he^she can prove your suspicions wrong by a few scheduled appointments. Nothing different than a prostrate or blood pressure check is a GP's experienced opinion and any subsequent referrals..

Denial can exist for many reasons but when you are distraught and unhappy, getting a clarification is the least your partner can do.

WK