beketteCasual Contributor
Schizophrenic Baby Brother, I Am Grieving
My brother was taken to a hospital today, and I am grieving.
I love my family. I love my brothers. I'm 29, and my youngest brother is 26.
He's always been very different. He was diagnosed with dyslexia at age 4, and struggled to make it through school. He always saw into another world. Would always talk about seeing spirits, and spirits talking to him, and making up languages, and seeing symbols.
He was seen by professional psychiatrists many times, because something was always a little bit off. We were always told it was "Inconclusive". They also noticed he was different, but he didn't fit any one diagnosis. By the time he was 21, however, I was strongly suspecting Schizophrenia. My uncle has it, and it rang a bell. My parents shrugged it off. He was unable to hold down a job, he couldn't keep his friendships, his mood swings were outrageous, his hygiene plummeted, and his obsessions with the spirit realm grew worse and worse.
The past year and half he lived by himself in a shed on my parents property, while everyone else was gone. He was trying to start a woodshop, but couldn't manage to make progress. My parents were still in denial, I was unable to reach him across the country, and my other brother was not very understanding or able to help. He would call me at 2am to talk about how his phone was being tracked, about how he discovered the secret to imortality and his spirit guides made blood covenants. How he found the secret messages of the governments on styrofoam cups. My parents were still in denial, even when I sent them descriptions of schizophrenia, and pleaded with them to help him. Finally, they decided to start making some moves, after I stated that I would do something if they didnt.
Again, the psychiatrists said he was borderline in many things, but nothing solid. Then one day, he snapped, and his diagnosis was chrystal clear. 3AM, drinking coffee by the pot at a local diner, my 26 year old brother, lost his shit. He said the cops were hiding a body in his van, that the customers were all spies trying to get him, that he had cracked the code to life itself and the government was going to get him. He posted it all on facebook, while terrorizing the restaurant. My mother was saw the posts, and went to search for him. He spent several miserable days in a bedroom, afraid of eveyrone and everything. Police were called, and he was sent to a hospital. Was in for a month, diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, then released and my parents took him. He refused medication.
He came home today, screaming and sobbing that my grandfather has given him "The Mark of The Beast", that his eyeball had a camera, that his other arm was a fake one the hospital had given him. My parents called the police, and they escorted him to the hospital again.
I am at a loss. I love my brother. I am so angry that no one caught this sooner, and no one listened to me when I saw it coming years ago. I am angry that the medical profession couldn't be bothered to really dig in to his diagnosis, and that the system gives up on schizophrenics so easily.
I am grieving for the baby brother I lost. He was my best friend,for many years. I want to be his carer, but cannot be at this time.
