mummyx2Casual Contributor
Second time mum... Second match with anxiety.
Hi everyone.
Well, where do I start? Lol
We just had our second child 7 weeks ago and my anxiety has come back in a big way. I am getting panic attacks again and have had two in front of our three year old (I had always tried to shelter her from seeing this).
I
have been diagnosed with somatic symptom disorder and I worry endlessly about serious illness or what I perceive to be a serious illness and sometimes even worry about illnesses that I have found on Dr Google that my doctor hasn't even heard of. I was diagnosed with this type of anxiety after my daughter was born, when at 4 months I was convinced that my daughter had a mental disability and went to doctor after doctor and paediatrician after peadiatrician hoping for someone to take me seriously, which of course no one was because there was nothing wrong with her. I look back and see what a complete crazy woman I was, taking videos and photos and testing my daughter everyday, but you couldn't tell me that back then. I spent the majority of my time on the internet googling symptoms and videos to analyse.
Well, I have started again.... This time focusing on my son! In his short 7 weeks of life he has been to the peadiatrician and the doctors on multiple occasions as I believe that he had a mental retardation also. It seems so real to me and I have even found myself looking at children thinking that my son will never have a normal life like that other child does.
I am obsessed about "milestones", googling them and then constantly "testing" my son throughout the day. First I worried that he wasn't smiling early enough and would miss this milestone and there was something wrong. He then started half smiling yesterday, but in my mind, it's only a half smile, not a big smile and he isn't doing it all the time and sometimes smiles at the wall or door. Today he smiled less than yesterday and I wonder if he has had a regression overnight? I am stuck in this smile milestone vacuum!! !
I feel seeing my psych would be a waste of time as I feel that if he just smiled properly like the YouTube videos then all would be OK!
Are there any other mums like me out there?
What can I do to stop me from being like this? It's driving me crazy and I fear that as with my first child, I'm not enjoying him at all and will look back in three years and think I am a crazy woman again!!
Thanks
Xx
Well, where do I start? Lol
We just had our second child 7 weeks ago and my anxiety has come back in a big way. I am getting panic attacks again and have had two in front of our three year old (I had always tried to shelter her from seeing this).
I
have been diagnosed with somatic symptom disorder and I worry endlessly about serious illness or what I perceive to be a serious illness and sometimes even worry about illnesses that I have found on Dr Google that my doctor hasn't even heard of. I was diagnosed with this type of anxiety after my daughter was born, when at 4 months I was convinced that my daughter had a mental disability and went to doctor after doctor and paediatrician after peadiatrician hoping for someone to take me seriously, which of course no one was because there was nothing wrong with her. I look back and see what a complete crazy woman I was, taking videos and photos and testing my daughter everyday, but you couldn't tell me that back then. I spent the majority of my time on the internet googling symptoms and videos to analyse.
Well, I have started again.... This time focusing on my son! In his short 7 weeks of life he has been to the peadiatrician and the doctors on multiple occasions as I believe that he had a mental retardation also. It seems so real to me and I have even found myself looking at children thinking that my son will never have a normal life like that other child does.
I am obsessed about "milestones", googling them and then constantly "testing" my son throughout the day. First I worried that he wasn't smiling early enough and would miss this milestone and there was something wrong. He then started half smiling yesterday, but in my mind, it's only a half smile, not a big smile and he isn't doing it all the time and sometimes smiles at the wall or door. Today he smiled less than yesterday and I wonder if he has had a regression overnight? I am stuck in this smile milestone vacuum!! !
I feel seeing my psych would be a waste of time as I feel that if he just smiled properly like the YouTube videos then all would be OK!
Are there any other mums like me out there?
What can I do to stop me from being like this? It's driving me crazy and I fear that as with my first child, I'm not enjoying him at all and will look back in three years and think I am a crazy woman again!!
Thanks
Xx
