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A question (or two)

BorobiContributor10 May 2018, 12:18 am AEST

A question (or two)

Hi friends.

I am new to this forum. I have lived with depression on and off for the past 14 years. While I no doubt have a genetic disposition to depresison, the major triggers to my depressed episodes have been significant life stressors. Those events have led to a downward spiral each time and have been triggered by being let down in a major way by someone with whom i felt safe and secure. I have a loving immediate family - no romantic partner at present or kids, but parents and siblings who i am close to. Yet i feel so alone so often and when the depression grips I isolate myself for self preservation. Social contact falls away after reaching out hoping for connection and that just exaccerbates the worst of my symptoms.

I am not on, and don't want to take medication. It's been prescribed but while i am sure it helps some people it doesn't agree with me and I don't see a solution in that.

I was wondering how many people on here feel alone or disconnected? I have been reading a good book called Lost Connections about the social / psychological aspects of depession. My experience in talking to others with depression is that people often (more than anything) long for human connection and to be able to speak to others with shared experiences - and in a face to face context.

Do others wish for that? Do you think it would help. After engaging with mental health services and being provided with a list of services to contact i was surprised how few support networks there are for people to help each other through their shared experiences.

Is it just me or do others feel that is a big gap in what's available. Online resources are certainly helpful but I feel that many people need face to face contact outside of sessions with mental health professionals.

Welcome your thoughts.

Thanks

Borobi

4 replies

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In response to: A question (or two)

BlackCat1Contributor10 May 2018, 12:28 am AEST

Re: A question (or two)

Hi There @Borobi.... I have a similar story to yours, and I agree that it's hard to make connections... there doesn't seem to be much out there, especially in Australia.

I feel terribly disconnected and don't know how to make meaningful connections. Just having someone to chat with would be great. I cope/function pretty well in general, but I have a black cloud that hangs over my head as a constant daily dampener.... this is very draining.

You're lucky that you have family members that you are close to, that's an invaluable thing... I don't have that unfortunately as my family is completely fractured.

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for sharing, I appreciated reading your post. 🙂

In response to: Re: A question (or two)

QueenieSenior Contributor10 May 2018, 9:29 pm AEST

Re: A question (or two)

Hi there @Borobi and @BlackCat1. I too struggle with 'connection' when depression strikes (I live with schizoaffective disorder which is kind of like a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar). After being exited from public mental health services (I now have gone to private mh care), I found there were limited places to connect. Have you ever heard of a clubhouse however? Clubhouses were founded in the USA and have since spread throughout the world. Basically, in a nutshell, it is social and vocational rehabilitation for people with mental health issues. I joined after my then-case worker convinced me to go and I was glad I did. I was able to connect with people and together work towards recovery. I'm a long way off from recovered don't get me wrong, but it went a long way to fill the void and regain some sort of purpose to life again.

Clubhouses are peer run, which means members operate the office, kitchen/cafe, outings etc for members. Yes, there are staff there too, but primarily all decisions are made by members for the running of each individual house. I learnt though them, how to remain skilled in office administration (I helped run the reception desk), but most clubhouses have heaps of areas in which connection can occur and be maintained. There's outings too... sometimes to cafes, cinemas, sometimes further afield to include camping and such.

I'm not saying here, that there is all there is in Australia. Just providing an example. There are places to 'reconnect', but unfortunately it is often word of mouth.

In response to: A question (or two)

Unknown userMember15 May 2018, 11:33 am AEST

Re: A question (or two)

Hi @Borobi,

Welcome to the forums! Its great to have you here. I know, like you said, that online social connection is not a replacement for real life friends and community. Still, I hope that you will find some kindred spirits here, who might be able to take the edge of those lonely feelings, and provide moral support as you seek out what you need out there in the real world.

What state do you live in @Borobi? Maybe we could offer some suggestions of peer and social support groups in your area.

You might also want to check out this article that Sane Australia put together. Its all about isolation. Sounds funny to say, but you are not alone in your lonliness. mental illness and isolation

All the best,

Chamomile.

In response to: Re: A question (or two)

WhiteknightSenior Contributor15 May 2018, 5:58 pm AEST

Re: A question (or two)

Hi @Borobi

I dont wish to challenge your decision on not taking medication, its yours to make. I'd like to point out though a few things about taking medication you might reconsider.

Some of us just need a helping hand with the way we are wired. We might not need great amounts of medication to steer our ship on the right course. Also, many medications take a long time to take effect. Up to 8 weeks or more.

Consider this- From 2003 till 2009 I tried 12 medications of which the last one was the only one that worked for me. During those years I had to take several weeks to find out it didnt work or had side effects that were too intolerable. Then wean myself off and start again. Some I endured for a long time.

Finally I found the one for me. It has made such a significant difference to my life and those around me thats why I'm writing this post, to ask you to reconsider.

I'm a great believer, due to my experience with my mental health problems, that a multi pronged approach to our illness is best. Leave out an aspect of recovering techniques and things like therapy or medication and you really aren't doing yourself a service.

I hope you are ok and find calm in your endeavors.

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