RELATIONSHIPS AND ANXIETY

Hi Yoyo,

Welcome to the forums!

It can be pretty daunting writing your first post, so thanks so much for taking the plunge and sharing with us.

I like your name, it sounds quite fitting with how you described your situation - up and down. And it seems like you're feeling pretty hot and cold in terms of your relationship with your boyfriend. From what you mentioned, it seems like you're unsure if the feelings of wanting to leave are due to anxiety or a problem in the relationship? This is tricky situation, as I think, that even at the best of times, relationships can evoke anxiety, and of course the same goes when things aren't great either. It's normal to feel anxious to a degree in a relationship at different stages (a new relationship, or moving in, getting more serious, being in the same place for a while, or ending it). It's normal to wonder and worry about if you want to share yourself or be alone.

Can I ask if you've felt this way before with him and if so, how did you work through it? Or are these feelings new? Is there something in the relationship that is making you want to stay? Or is there something that is making you want to leave? Sorry to ask so many questions, I just want to make sure I understand. Sounds like things are pretty foggy in your mind too so perhaps the process of answering these questions and writing them down can give you some clarity too. But don't feel like you need to answer them all either, just what you're comfortable with.

Hope to hear from you soon,

CB

Hi Yoyo,

Thanks for sharing, you have a lot of courage. Much of what you say reminds me of myself when I was younger. I suggest that unless the relationship you are in is abusive then maybe it's not the best time to be trying to make such an important decision?

I'm going to need to hop off the pc shortly, so I will try to respond at more length another day. What I'd like to share now are two things I hope might help somewhat:

1) when you are feeling overwhelmed try telling yourself "this too will pass" repeatedly as often as you need to

2) you have been through a lot, there are good reasons for how are you feeling so don't beat yourself up, instead be compassionate with yourself (try to treat yourself as you would a good friend who's having a difficult time and needs all the support she can get)

Take care.

Kind regards,

Kristin

hello,

I also suffer from anxiety and depression as well. My 23 old daughter passed away in 2012 and since then I have dealt with anxiety on a day to day basis. I underwent therapy, shortly thereafter her death. I have a wonderful support system and was involved with a great man who went through this with me. It's a day to day process. The pain never goes away, but life makes you put one step forward. Some day, it's even hard to get out of bed, but with an understanding friend or loved one, somehow you manage, by the grace of God.

When celebrities suffer from depression people automatically think "they have everything going for them", why would they do that? Anxiety and the conditions that come with it, does not descriminate. Unless you have experienced it first hand, one doesn't know the depths it can take you. Hopefully, you can recognize it and treat it before you lose control. The most important thing is to first talk about it. Then take your baby steps to treat it. Everyone is different. There is no set time. Whenever there is a loss, any kind of loss, there is a mourning. Some of us are so busy taking care of others, that we forget to take care of ourselves.

I married this man who has been with me since the day of my loss. Without him and God, I don't know where I would be. I moved to Australia to be with him. I continue to pray for joy. This is a life long struggle. I still have bad days. A good day is when I don't cry. But I continue to have "hope". There lies the key. Don't be discouraged. You are not alone.

Yls

Hi Everyone,

Firstly I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has contacted me regarding my post and to everyone who has viewed it - by the large number it makes me feel like others out there are feeling the same or are interested n the topic.

What a lovely place this forum is - just when I was feeling terrible I would wake up to a supportive message from someone who could understand how I feel which is a special thing.

I feel like my medication has started to kick in and thankfully the anxiety has reduced quite a lot. I know full well this is not the end of it all but it makes me able to think, breathe and listen which is so important as my anxiety is so irrational it makes me dizzy. I also had my first appointment with a Psychologist and thankfully I liked her straight away and I also like her approach to me and the plan she has suggested to unpack a bit of baggage and get to the core of this once and for all. Please know I have been in this place before and beleive i have a disposition to anxiety and depression - I think it will always be with my in some capacity over the years. One of the most interesting questions the psychologist asked me was what do you love doing most? What are you hobbies?.....I couldn't answer her. I realised I work very hard, I do my best to please everyone and leave nothing for myself. With this in mind I have decided to work a lot less over the next month and concentrate on myself -I see how important this is. I told here I was dissappointed with life - I think this speaks volumes!

Again thank you to everyone who has contacted me, supported me and made me think about things. Lets keep chatting and help each other - it's so important

Yoyo

Hi Yoyo,

I also like your name and all that it implies. One of the most confronting questions I was asked once was .... what do you do for fun? i could not think of anything. When I think of your name I not only visualise the yoyo going up and down I can also visulise all the patterns that other school kids were able to do (yes I am that old) - I was never able to manage all the trick and patterns but I will continue to visulise them in the hope that you find some fun and things that you enjoy.

Crystal