also have 30 y/o daughter who is spiraling downward

I have a 30 y/o daughter who 1 year ago had an apartment, 2 cars and a great nursing career. She also has a beautiful 9 y/o daughter, my grand-daughter.

Fast foward to today, she quit her 13 year job 6 months ago stating co-workers where out to get her, talking behind her back, etc.,she took another job at night but quit fearing co-workers were poisioning her.

She lost both her cars and eventually her apartment. We (myself and exwife-her mother) moved her and our grandchild into my home (with my current wife/family). We spent two days moving her (in the rain) while she sat in her mom's car without lifting a finger. I told her she could stay with me but there would be rules: no men guest, no drugs (more on that later), be active in finding a job, be active in finding counseling and/or treatment. She agreed and even signed a letter confirming this. Well one day our neighbor called to inform us our daughter was noted often walking around in a 'daze' sometimes staring at a butterfuly for long periods of time. I knew she had started seeing a guy who was a bit older and 'shady' looking so we all felt she might be on drugs. The final straw came when she was gone for an extended period of the day/night. When we asked here she had been she stated she walked to Walmart. Thinking she was confused I told her there's no Walmart anywhere close to us, the only one was about 10 miles away (roundtrip walking). She said 'that one' and she did it for exercise. Only problem is this occurred at 11 pm at night and in her pajamas. We called the cops immediately. After a few hours of interraction with their 51/50 team (mental health) they took her to a local hospital mental health unit who agreed to keep her for a week.

We all felt relieved somewhat, she was finally getting help/treatment. That changed about 4 days in. A social worker called to inform us she would be released following a hearing from the courts (common practice) . Our daughter convinced them that she was fine and didn't need to be there and yes, although all the stories were true regarding her bizzare behavior, she did not want to cause self harm to herself or others. This is essentially the end game. The hospital cannot at this point legally hold her against her will and released her to us.

She would return another time when she assaulted a patron in a supermarket. The police showed her mercy and instead of arresting her took her to another hospital-which kept her for 2-3 days and (you guessed it) released her stating she was not a threat to herself or others. They took a drug test from her and to my surprise found only marijuana in her system. So now I'm convinced her mental status is primarily biological and not chemically induced.

She now spends her days not at my place, but at her old apartment complex with her male friend who himself was living with his sister.

After 10 days of her sleeping at my house and spending 10-18 hours at her old place and/or park I gave her an ultimatum: if you return to the old apartments, do not return home (my place). She agreed. The next day my security camera sends me a text pic of her leaving at 9:00 and I knew she had broke her promise. So after multiple threats of kicking her out (and her ignoring them) I finally changed the locks and told her to simply stay with that guy. She did that for about a week until the guy sister threw them both out. She called me at 3:00 am to come get her-and I did. The next morning I woke her and took her to meet with her mom. I told her enough's enough. If she didn't agree to treatment she was permanently out my house. She said she would look for a job but I told her I wasn't falling for that anymore, she lost her ID a week ago and hasn't lifted a finger to get a new one.

Yesterday the apartment complex told her she was not allowed on their premises anymore (she was found sleeping in the laundry room) and they would call the police next time. She text me to come get her I told her absolutely not, call your mother. Her mother picked her up but she really doesn't have the room for her.

I'm now in the position of raising my 9 y/o grand-daughter who we all adore (although she doesn't care for my current wife). That's fine but she often ask why her mother cannot live with us which is heart breaking. I told her that her mom needs help and by her staying here she will never get the help she needs to get her life back on track.

Me and my exwife have even contemplated lying to say our daughter poses a harm to herself but we both know our daughter (again a nurse for 13 years) would convince them otherwise.

Unfortunately I don't see an end game here, I raised my daughter from day one, I taught her how to ride a bike and drive a car. She had a basic normal childhood, we provided for her, never once had an issue with her, "the perfect daughter" I often boasted. She even put herself through nursing school on her own, this ordeal needless to say tears me apart. These days her hair is often unkept, her clothes dirty. I know the streets, I also know she would not last long due to attacks, rape and drugs. Me and my ex had a somewhat change of heart regarding her male friend, at least the offers her some protection but that may change since she's not allowed to stay with him or even enter the apt complex anymore. I could and will most likely allow her back but I cannot allow her to treat my house as a 'flop house'. My wife has three kids of her own (although they're all in college). She (my current wife) cried like a baby the other night (a first, never saw her do that); as neither one of us was prepared for this.

In closing I doubt if there's a 'magic solution' to this problem, the social laws are NOT geared towards those who want to help but more towards those who refuse help. Most google post suggest we 'listen, not be 'judgemental', etc., without really offering any solutions. Besides, that's a bit hard when all she does is sleep all day, slam the bedroom door in my face (in my own house), leave a complete mess in the bathroom and refuses to lift a finger. She also demands I take her fast food everynight because the food my wife cooks isn't good enough for her.

Well thanks for reading this, it's not easy talking to friends or relatives regarding this. I also know the outlook appears grim as long as she refuses help (we're talking about someone who would rather sleep on top of a community table inside a laundry room instead of seek help). When we ask her to do it for her daughter she simply says "she's in good hands".