Feeling awful

A few weeks ago I drove to my friend’s engagement party. I don’t like driving, especially in the dark, as my OCD goes into overdrive. It was especially bad driving home and I kept thinking I had hit a cat and had to keep stopping to check. I wasn’t concentrating properly because I was consumed in worry. At one point I thought I might have hit something because I wasn’t concentrating properly. I stopped at the side of the road and got out and looked. I was really upset and crying. I managed to get back into the car and drive home to my Mum and dads.

Today I was in the car with Mum and we drive past that same spot, I looked because I knew that was where I had freaked out. And there was a dead cat there, lying at the side of the road! It looked like it had been there for a long time.

I feel gutted because in my heart of hearts I didn’t think I had actually hit anything! I feel terrible and I cried and have spend most of the rest of the day in bed. I live in Launceston. It’s not a big city and this seems like too much of a coincidence! Poor cat! I’ve taken it’s life! I love my animals more than anything and can’t believe I’ve done this to a living soul. I don’t know what to do.