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Cutting people out of my life

Unknown userMember08 Apr 2018, 2:51 pm AEST

Cutting people out of my life

Hello,

my mental illness has left me without a job and discovering fake friends and dealing with stigma. I now have constant urges to cut people out of my life. I’ve left social media, deleted most contacts on my phone and email account and keep thinking, that I’m better off without people, if they don’t want to know how I am or stay in touch with me. Why should I always try to keep in touch?

I know I don’t leave people a lot of choice than calling me or sending me a text message (if I haven’t blocked them) and I know I isolate myself. But I just don’t know how to deal with being hurt. My world has been turned upside down and I kind of don’t want to remember days before and I don’t want to feel pressure from people I know that want me to get better. I want to get better, but I don’t need anyone to put pressure on me when they don’t know what I’m struggling with.

How do you keep, or do you keep in contact with people or so you isolate yourself?

9 replies

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In response to: Cutting people out of my life

MDTSenior Contributor08 Apr 2018, 4:17 pm AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

Hey @Former-Member
I know this feeling well. If I am to be perfectly honest I actually wish I cut less people out of my life at the time I did. Not that I wish I did not cut them out but that I had done it at a later stage. It was premature in other words.
I think it is good that you have those around you who want you to get better and that's fantastic. Cherish that. In what sense are they putting pressure on you? Can you perhaps raise it with them?
I don't think cutting people out is ever a bad thing if done for the correct reasons.
Hope I can be of more help to you

In response to: Cutting people out of my life

Unknown userMember08 Apr 2018, 4:50 pm AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

Hi @MDT

Thanks for your message. Why do you think you have cut out people prematurely? If you don’t mind me asking.

The pressure I feel is that I should be better by now. My stories are lame and I should get my act together. I am so tired of living in my own head that I don’t have space for others to mess around with my head (and trigger me). I just want to be alone and then I feel so lonely because nobody cares and it just doesn’t make sense to me.

In response to: Cutting people out of my life

Unknown userMember08 Apr 2018, 4:57 pm AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

I do that @Former-Member
I push people away because it's too hard to explain every emotion i go through or memory/flash back etc. I have almost cut everyone out. Most times I had to, I couldn't handle the judgements, the negativity, the lack of understanding, the mocking.

I am not good at allowing anyone into our life anymore. I understand

My whole world has been turned upside down too. Hope you know you are not alone

I have hard comments in the past like does she think of us, yes I do but my emotions and battles I fight are so intense I cannot be there for others as much as I would like to at the moment most times. They would never understand

I lost my job a couple of times as well. So sorry you are going through this

In response to: Re: Cutting people out of my life

MDTSenior Contributor08 Apr 2018, 5:18 pm AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

Hey @Former-Member

I think i did it because i had decided that theybwere not mature enough to handle the information without blabbering to everyone else in their social circle.

I am 24 but i am friends with people who act like 18 year olds who have just been out on a drinking frenzy for the first time in their lives. Gossip, stupidity, tomfoolery, idiocy abound. But the thing is i just didnt them a chance to prove otherwise. I think i shouldve risked getting hurt in order to discover what they would do. Its the past now.

Yeah i know what you mean in regards to wanting to have space and also wanting to connect with others. Balance is what we need. This is an eternal struggle i think.

Who said you should be better by now? What metric is used to determine that? I have had this feeling in the past and what i realised is that better is a process as opposed to a destination. Rather than make betterment a goal, make it an ongoing thing.

I am very tired of being in my own head too, but i foten think if i let others into it i will end up collapsing from the burden. But hey jts a work in progress i guess.

In response to: Cutting people out of my life

Unknown userMember08 Apr 2018, 8:51 pm AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

@Former-Member and @MDT

Thank you for your messages. I have read them but I am too sad and confused to answer at the moment.

In response to: Cutting people out of my life

MDTSenior Contributor08 Apr 2018, 9:10 pm AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

All good @Former-Member
Take your time and remember the forums are here 🙂

In response to: Cutting people out of my life

utopiaSenior Contributor09 Apr 2018, 12:01 am AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

@Former-Member. I've stayed in close contact with my best friend of 40 years. She is one of those amazing people who research and get informed, rather than ignore our MI. She knows how to help me through a panic attack. She understands that it may be weeks and weeks before I contact her. She understands that I can no longer handle her (or anyone) just dropping in to visit me, or large crowds. But she still lets me know she loves me.
Other friends I've lost contact with. They don't understand my MI and don't listen when I try to explain.
My depression causes such fatigue in me, that I don't have the energy to try to keep contact with those that don't support me.
Do you have one or two friends who are special? Who don't judge? Try and keep in contact with them - even if it's a quick phone call every 3 weeks.
I understand your need to cull others out of your life.

In response to: Re: Cutting people out of my life

Unknown userMember10 Apr 2018, 8:38 am AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

Hi @utopia @MDT @Former-Member

Still really confused and sore on this subject, so will be a while before I answer.

In response to: Cutting people out of my life

utopiaSenior Contributor10 Apr 2018, 3:18 pm AEST

Re: Cutting people out of my life

There's no rush @Former-Member. Only respond if you want to and when you can.

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