AnxCasual Contributor
Newbie - dealing with Schizophrenia, Autism, brain damage, bunch of other stuff for the fun of it
Hey all
I'm new here. I've cruised some of your stories and feel like this is a safe space to share (or just vent) and find a little support from people who understand what living with these condtions is like.
So here's my story. My own anxiety disorder first became apparent as a child, first self harmed at 9. My brother struggled with depression and took his own life at 19. So I'm going to put my hand up and say my own defective genes are probably the root cause of my kids problems.
Eldest son has Autism, ADHD,OCD to start with. Then when he was 21 we discovered he also has a rare genetic disorder that causes blood clots. We discovered this through a massive blood clot in his brain which caused a stroke and long term brain damage. Problem is, the first sympton of a blood clot is usually an ache or pain, but part of his autism is a very high pain threshold so he literally doesn't feel it until it's a major problem. He's on blood thinners for the rest of his life as a result. He's also the funniest kid you'll ever meet and I adore him.
Number 2 son has just been diagnosed with Schizophrenia, after battling mental illness since he was 16 (5 years now). He's done a few stints in hosptial, and will do more in the future. He's stubborn and proud and hardworking (like his mum) so he doesn't like taking his meds because they make him feel tired and dopey. But then he also doesn't like the spider that crawls up his arm and into his ear, so there's no winning this battle. He has a way to go, but I'm hoping he'll be ok. He has good mates around him that have accepted the diagnosis really well.
Baby girl is 16 now. She was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder at just 7, and has struggled with it constantly since then. When I explained her big brothers new diagnosis to her she said, "oh, like the creepy old guy who whispers over my right shoulder sometimes. I thought he was a ghost." Damn. It's too early for a diagnosis yet, but she will be monitored by the family psychiatrist (I can't believe I have a family psychiatrist... who the hell has a family psychiatrist????).
Right now I'm feeling like this is all somehow unfair. I didn't drink while pregnant, I was a good mum, feed them well, did everything right. How do I get all this thrown at me?? I know, life isn't meant to be fair and we all just play the cards we're dealt. But some days I wish I was playing a different game.
cheers.
