Where do I start??

I was diagnosed with anxiety & depression in early 2002. A mix of work relkated issues and IBD If anyone does have IBD corhn's or colitis, gatsroenterologists are now advising their patients to seek out treatment for these. As stress is bad for IBD.(so as you know 🙂 )

i have been forrunate with my IBD that I have only seen the surgeon once, in 2014. But it made for a harrowing time I died several times, loss of blood and from the amount of blood in transfisuons - Sepsis. I survived as ya see. The result has impacted me and my unemployment. Am now in my early 50's.

The long n short of this a sa lot of you already know is the over 50's are being actively discriminate against. Ageism is everything and more you never want to be part of. Add to this my own experinced working in recruitment, I know only too well the bulldust, lies.and politics. I haven't had it easy at all. I am now the proud owner of bordeline PTSD. Due to the events of my hospitialisation compounded by unemployment.

Add to this aging parents, mum has vascular dementia and now unable to move around under her own steam. Dad has his issues and am sufferring carer burnout as well. All I want is to be doing something for me. ie get a damn job.i can function better and am not answrerable to the likes of centelink and jobactive, bth of whom have no idea or tintent to help the unemloyed , just make life harder. i the mistaken belief it will help the politicians sleep at night. knowing we are 'doing somehting not bludging and leaning on the public purse'

I don't have the freinds anymore to talk to about whats gone on. Mine are good enough mainly but this is too deep n menaingful for them. See also over their tiny heads. I know enough about what am going thru and need to see my Psych to increase my anti depressants. I haven't ever been the victim, or wanted to be a victim of whats happened. Now i feel beaten, let down byt a system that fails us lets the rich get richer and the rest of us pay for them.

Am not a whinger either. I don;t feel the fear of missing out, I am starting to think I have missed out. job interviews are few and far between. Employers are fickle bunch, am now too young to reire and too old to work. 30yrs in the workforce and myu skills are worthless. I worked in recruiting in apprenticeships. i've seen the ups and downs felt the bumps and seen bloody mindedness up close. Have worked as a contractor in the private and public sector. Bene used abused and bullied. by people who really should know better. As outside the workplace their egos are meaningless. A mix of carer burnout and my own probelms is exhausting. Maybe carers allowance? One thing i do know job active is useless mainstream job agencies are just as self serving and do litte for us over 50. I feel trapped.someone pinched the light globe in the tunnel and am wandering around lost. Why? A lot of us out there, and aside from my hassles just as annoyed. yep am not ready for a job, i know that. but when yoiu feel like there is a lack of hope what can you focus on? Sorry for the rant or getting close to a full scale one. Australia the lucky country....not much of it remining