The-red-centaurSenior Contributor
My story-life ruled my MI
I've been a member of the forum a while but rarely share anything. I see everyone chatting and feel alienated for some reason.
But anyway...
I'll be 25 next month. You would think someone so young wouldn't be so messed up. I have anxiety, ptsd, bipolar, bpd, psychosis, bulimia, and gender dysphoria.
I guess it started when I was five. In that year dad got sick, mums abuse became more prevalent and I had an operation on my stomach. that's when my body issues started. Fast forward four years, I had had another two operations on my stomach and was sexually abused, I dissociated and disordered eating really showed up. My family moved states the following year when I was 10, that's when the bullying started, I hated school, I hated home due to abuse. When I was 13 mum left dad for another guy. That's when suicide entered my mind, the following year I first self harmed because I couldn't cope but I soon stopped sh. Mum was abusive, dad was sick, school sucked and by this stage I hated every inch of my body (I didn't know I was trans back then or that I had an ED) At 17 I made my first suicide attempt and stated self harming again. I started meds and therapy. That year was hard, I started getting hallucinations, I was nearly hospitalised for anorexia and self harm, and I barely made it through grade 12. The next year I ended up being hospitalised for the first time and then had several admissions over that year. That's when I was diagnosed with everything and things have been shit since. Fast forward 5.5 years and here I am today. My mental health is really out of control and I don't know what to do. I've relapsed heavily into bulimia, my psychosis is really bad, I'm all over the place, I don't know, it's all making me suicidal again.
But anyway...
I'll be 25 next month. You would think someone so young wouldn't be so messed up. I have anxiety, ptsd, bipolar, bpd, psychosis, bulimia, and gender dysphoria.
I guess it started when I was five. In that year dad got sick, mums abuse became more prevalent and I had an operation on my stomach. that's when my body issues started. Fast forward four years, I had had another two operations on my stomach and was sexually abused, I dissociated and disordered eating really showed up. My family moved states the following year when I was 10, that's when the bullying started, I hated school, I hated home due to abuse. When I was 13 mum left dad for another guy. That's when suicide entered my mind, the following year I first self harmed because I couldn't cope but I soon stopped sh. Mum was abusive, dad was sick, school sucked and by this stage I hated every inch of my body (I didn't know I was trans back then or that I had an ED) At 17 I made my first suicide attempt and stated self harming again. I started meds and therapy. That year was hard, I started getting hallucinations, I was nearly hospitalised for anorexia and self harm, and I barely made it through grade 12. The next year I ended up being hospitalised for the first time and then had several admissions over that year. That's when I was diagnosed with everything and things have been shit since. Fast forward 5.5 years and here I am today. My mental health is really out of control and I don't know what to do. I've relapsed heavily into bulimia, my psychosis is really bad, I'm all over the place, I don't know, it's all making me suicidal again.
