AnandarrCasual Contributor
Feel like i’m living a lie
I’m in my early 20s and I have been dealing with mental health issues for several years. I am bipolar. I have difficulty sleeping, I overthink all the time and I am hyper-empathetic. I am currently seeing a therapist and trying to understand my condition and how to manage it. Even though mental health is not a new thing to me, I still struggle with understanding where I start and where it ends. I’m not sure anyone understands me. A lot of the time, I barely understand myself. I have been told that I’m very likeable and capable but I still struggle with self-esteem.
I have always had issues with my parents. I’m still trying to work through them but due to this I moved in with my boyfriend a year and a half ago. We had been dating for a year at that point. Before we dated we were friends and we knew about each others’ issues with mental health. He lives with him mum and so over the time that I stayed there, I started to care about her a great deal as well. I get along great with his friends and family and had occasionally talked about marriage.
Two months ago, he broke up with me out of nowhere. He was diagnosed with depression and anxiety before we met. But he had stopped seeing a therapist and hasn’t seen one since despite me insisting that he does. He says things and takes them back and I don’t know what to believe. At some point during our time together he was very considerate and we were happy. But I’m not sure what to believe anymore. He has a history of drug and alcohol abuse. His friends largely disregard his mental health issues and his family let him get away with anything.
I think that he might be bipolar as well. But I know that I’m not qualified to make those judgements. I just want him to see a therapist and make sense of his drastic changes in mood and mindset. He is experiencing a high right now which confused me because it came out of nowhere. He hates his job and himself. He is still unhappy but at times he will display grandiose delusions.
I don’t necessarily want advice on what to do, I just want to know if anyone else has been through this and how they dealt with it and how it panned out for them. I’m a bit tired of people telling me to give up and let him self-destruct. I don’t know what to do because I don’t even understand the situation.
