ZamSenior Contributor
Thought I would write out my experience with schizophrenia (trigger warning)
I haven't really opened up much about my life and dealing with schizophrenia but thought I would just write it out..
when I was I think around 19 I first started getting symptoms of schizophrenia. At the time it was just voices but more like hearing whispering every so often..
When I was 23 my fiancé and I had our first child and things started to take a turn for the worst from there. I started to get paranoid and believed my fiancé and her family were plotting to take my son away from me, and eventually the paranoia ended up pushing her away from me and we broke up 2 years later after a rough few years.
My child is my whole life. As soon as I first held him, he became my reason for living. I have never experienced love like how I feel for him.
when me and my fiancé broke up, she stopped all access to me and my son and that just led me quickly downhill and those whispers turned into yelling and instead of a few voices it turned into many. The paranoia got me fully believing my ex fiancé has hired a hit man to take me out and that police were spying on me and going to eventually harm me
I also started getting visual hallucinations. I seen a cat walk through a mirror in my bedroom a few times, a girl woke me up screaming besides me, trees had faces and whispered things to me, faces and hands coming through the walls.
It didn't take long for people to quickly notice that something was pretty wrong with me (everyone could see it but myself). I ended up getting sent into forced hospitalisation and was eventually diagnosed with schizophrenia.
I got put on antipsychotics and eventually when the right antipsychotic and dosage was worked out, things settled down pretty fast for me..
I got through family court and gained every second weekends with my son.
i haven't had a visual hallucination in a fair while and experience very little paranoia now. I do get paranoid a bit when around other people and it can feel like everyone is talking about me and making fun of me.
the voices are the only thing that has still been very constant but I have found my own ways to deal with them.
i have been searching for other people who suffer from schizophrenia to talk to but there is nothing around where I live that I could possibly find anyone.
i have recently started a diploma in mental health so I can eventually do myself what I could not find at all when in hospitals and so on and that is to talk to a qualified professional who has actual experience in this field...
but yeah sorry for the long read, I cut it as short as I could. I thought I would come on here because I am still searching for people to talk to who can relate