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What’s Wrong With Me?

Annabelle4Senior Contributor24 Mar 2018, 10:44 am AEDT

What’s Wrong With Me?

Last year I was raped three times by a man I trusted, who knew that I spent two years being sexually assaulted in the workplace in the past. This man told me that he loved me and cared about me.

He was working in a self help organisation as a paid worker, and I promised I would never tell what he did. But I have told his work, and he is being investigated for breaking his word to his work.

What worries me now is that I’m continually plagued with the desire to ring him and apologise for breaking my promise to him. I don’t want him to lose his job, but I don’t want him to take advantage of anyone else either.

Is what I’m feeling common amongst other trauma victims? Or is there something seriously wrong with me instead? Sorry for going on so long!

3 replies

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In response to: What’s Wrong With Me?

Unknown userMember25 Mar 2018, 8:22 am AEDT

Re: What’s Wrong With Me?

Hi @Annabelle4

you have done the right thing reporting someone who raped you and you are the victim. It is really hard and I feel for you having to go through something like this twice.

I am unsure how trauma works when it appears in adulthood, but I can confirm that I struggle with my feeling towards my abusers in childhood and I still struggle with the feeling if I have done anything wrong. Apparently that is common in survivors of childhood abuse and I would think it is the same later on in life.

Are you receiving any support, counselling etc. for what has happened? Also support groups can be really helpful. If you need information contact Sane for some information, search for a rape crisis centre in your area or 1800RESPECT. victimsservices also has links.

Take good care of yourself and seek help.

In response to: Re: What’s Wrong With Me?

Annabelle4Senior Contributor25 Mar 2018, 9:36 pm AEDT

Re: What’s Wrong With Me?

Hi @Former-Member. I was also abused (molested) by a family “friend” as a child, so what happened last year just really added to the overwhelming trauma I’m already trying to cope with. I don’t have anyone day to day to talk to, which is why I’ve joined this forum. Sometimes it helps to just talk about what’s going on in my head. Thanks for the help of other places to talk. *Hug*!

In response to: Re: What’s Wrong With Me?

Unknown userMember26 Mar 2018, 6:54 am AEDT

Re: What’s Wrong With Me?

Hi @Annabelle4

here is a good place to reach out, when there is no one else to talk to. Have a look at the social spaces on the forum too. I understand the need to communicate "what's going on in my head". I often get stuck in my head and don't know what to do, forget what to do, or too angry to do anything.

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