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what is the point.

sincereNew Contributor20 Mar 2018, 3:17 pm AEDT

what is the point.

Hi, I am 18 years old and I have been diagnosed with general depressive and anxiety disorders as well as BPD. I’ve felt like this for a while now, and after my darkest points, (a few years back when I was self harming) I went through a brief period where I truly believed I had conquered my dark existence and emerged into a new life with control and happiness. However, I can feel myself slipping back into random mood swings with increasingly depressing weeks. I see so many flaws with myself. I know I am a broken person and I see no chance of that ever changing. I sometimes feel like it will be like this forever, and I will never cease to be complete. I don’t see the point in continuing a life of which I have poor impulse control and deep unhappiness. Maybe I was just built broken and I should give up trying to pretend that I can ever achieve happiness.

edit: I am not seeking any action tonight, I plan on sleeping on the thought, but I am worried for my distant future.

3 replies

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In response to: what is the point.

Unknown userMember20 Mar 2018, 5:06 pm AEDT

Re: what is the point.

Hello @sincere

A very warm welcome to the forums, it is nice to meet you 🙂

It sounds like you are currently going through a very tough time and I am hearing that you are in particular feeling very low in your mood and focusing on the flaws rather than some other perhaps more useful thoughts or aspects of yourself. Are you currently getting support for all of this at the moment?

It is good you have come to the forums for some extra support right now, you might like to also Introduce yourself here at some point if you feel up to it.

Lunar

In response to: what is the point.

BlueBellsSenior Contributor20 Mar 2018, 5:58 pm AEDT

Re: what is the point.

Hi there @sincere 🙂

Just a thought, I'm doing a Dialectical Behavoiural Therapy Course......put in lay terms, it's a group led by trained professionals, who also participate, and it can be amazingly helpful.

There are a few BPD's in the group, one that did it last year has found it so good, she's doing level two this year.

It's free if you have a Mental Healthcare Plan .

I'm in Victoria, so don't know how far afield these courses run, but check it out 😉

Hugs 🙂

In response to: what is the point.

Unknown userMember20 Mar 2018, 6:52 pm AEDT

Re: what is the point.

Hi @sincere

I remember thinking at times like you are about the future when I was 18. The truth is "we don't know what is around the corner" or what that future will be. It can change dramatically. Mine did, as did the person I am today - for the better. But at times I had to make my way through hell to find the latter. It's about not giving up.

You had succeeded in experiencing a period of control and happiness after climbing out of a dark place once already. And you can do it again with the right help and hanging onto the hope and vision of a better future. Relapse is common with mental issues, and when we climb out of it we are that much stronger and better for it if we don't let it stop us living.

What I find helps is not worrying about the future but to "live in the present, the now" and look for any good in it no matter how small and build on that. Let the future take care of itself. Anything is possible when young - don't let anything stop you going for your dreams making your mark in this world. This presently dip is a setback, a bump - hang onto hope until it smooths out again. Life will be a series of bumps, ups and downs; life is a roller coaster for all - its hanging on for grim life until we rise up again; doing our best to make good memories to get us through the dark times.

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