Mtd0712Casual Contributor
(Ex) fiancé called off wedding entire family is concerned this is her sickness.
Okay so everyone is extremely concerned about my (ex) fiancé. A little back story first. We have been together for 3 years, engaged for 6 months and have owned a house together for about a year and a half. We had our small wedding planned and paid for that was supposed to be earlier this month. And then about a month or so before the wedding my fiancé started acting very distant and strange.
From day one of knowing her all she’s ever wanted in life was marriage, a house to call her own, and especially kids. Her mother recently told me that after our third date she came home and said, mom this is the man I’m going to be with for life. This is how she’s always been, that is until a few weeks before the wedding date. She was extremely excited planning and getting everything ready for our little wedding (we planned to elope with just immediate family in our favorite vacation spot). The week before she started sending me weird text while I was working saying she wasn’t sure of her decision and wasn’t sure about the wedding. This made me panic beyond belief for obvious reasons but I kept my cool and tried to explain that it was just stress and anxiety and that we would be okay and get through it together.
She kept insisting that it was not the right decision and that she wasn’t sure she ever wanted to get married or have kids. I told her if it was to fast we could postpone the wedding and just stay engaged until she felt comfortable but again she insisted that she didn’t think she would ever want to be married or have kids. As I said earlier she has been obsessed with getting married and having kids since she was a child (her mother has told me before) and now wants nothing to do with any of it.
She called off the wedding 10 days before and we broke up. I agreed to go stay at my parents and let her be alone and think things through. That was 3 weeks ago and although we have seen each other and talked here and there for the most part she has been out drinking and partying with her friend. Any time someone reaches out to her weather my family or hers to insist she isn’t thinking straight she flips out and says she’s fine and is human and aloud to change her mind about things.
So here’s why all of us (me, her parents and siblings, as well as my family) think she is on a dark path. Both her grandmother and mother have been dealing with and living with bipolar disorder their entire life’s. Her mother most recently had a full manic state for almost 6 months until she came to terms and got the help she needed. I know the illness run in the family and she is showing almost all the symptoms of someone going through a break down. She has been drinking heavily more then usual, avoiding all conversations about anything being wrong, spending excess of money and has completely abandoned all the core beliefs she’s had her entire life (family,kids,etc.)
Since the break up I have been in contact with her mother who lives cross country from us and she is extremely concerned with her behavior and the only information she’s getting is through me because her daughter isn’t willing to talk. At this point I’m leaving her be and letting her go through what she needs to while I’m living at my parents and she lives in the house we own together. Everyone is worried that this behavior is her sickness and that she is going to end up doing something terrible or something that could affect her life dramatically.
I have been reading up in the illness and talking to her mother everyday who has been dealing and handling her own illness very well. At this point no one knows how to approach her or help her get the help she needs. Could anyone please help with input or advice before this gets more out of hand and turns even worse!?
