Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Emotional boundaries

KittenSenior Contributor14 Mar 2018, 11:36 pm AEDT

Emotional boundaries

Hello all,

I am trying to set myself some emotional boundaries with some family members. Would anyone have some experience in doing this and how thy did and what th outcome was.
I am worried that by setting boundaries that I will worry about the consequences and that if I am not there taking care of someone and something happens what will happen. I currently try and o protect hem from themselves and don’t want anything to happen as I feel it will only make things harder for me not easier. Any advise welcome.
Would also just like to say what a help this forum is to me. Xx

2 replies

1 - 2 of 2

In response to: Emotional boundaries

Unknown userMember15 Mar 2018, 7:34 pm AEDT

Re: Emotional boundaries

Hi @Kitten

So glad to read that this forum has been a good help to you

I have set in the past boundaries with my daughter - how to go about that would depend on what the particular issues are that you are experiencing with family members. I.e. - if they are expecting too much of you then at times you will need to say "no" and stand your ground. With my daughter she was angry, disrespectful and could get violatil - so some serious boundaries were laid that expressed that crossing the line was not acceptable.

Perhaps you would like to share the particular issues that are causing tension in with your family if comfortable, and that way members could share better with you about similar experiences and boundaries they have or would put in place. Hope things settle for you soon.

In response to: Emotional boundaries

KittenSenior Contributor17 Mar 2018, 9:46 am AEDT

Re: Emotional boundaries

Hi @enigma -Enigma-

Sorry to hear that you have been through that with your daughter.

My mum and sister are alcoholics and each night they stay up late drinking. I have to get to bed and get up for work. I have asked if they can come in earlier on work days but they won’t. I am worried about here health. I am worried about my mum as if she drinks too much she has fallen in the past. My sister has a lot of issue and moved in with us a year ago after a relationship break down. She was abused in this relationship and I really feel for her. I have helped her emotionally and am still financially supporting them both. Whenever they need me I am right there.
I feel like they don’t even see me and I am not important to them.

They don’t find my point of view valid about the drinking and staying up late. They don’t understand that I can’t sleep until I know they are both in ok and in bed. I worry and I tell them and they say I am ridiculous. I hate that word and they keep saying it and I get so upset.

I need to somehow stop worrying and get in with my life. I just don’t know how I do it. I got scared that if I am not looking after them something will happening then I will have to deal with that. My sister did drink and drive a few times. I worry about this even though it hasn’t happened in a long time.

Sorry it just all comes out.. thank you 😊

1 - 2 of 2