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Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor04 Mar 2018, 10:26 pm AEDT

Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

My nephew verbally and mentally abuses me daily. He's 17 and it's scary and shocking. I'm exhausted. Between trying to take care of everyone, my own physical and mental health issues, poverty...I can't take anymore. I can't escape and so I turn to thinking about suicide. It's the only bit of relief I have. I am trying not to turn my thoughts to suicide when the poop hits the fan, but it's difficult because it's my automatic response. On a scale of 0 to 10 for suicidal threat, I'm about a 4. It's low cause there's a chance we might sell the house and things improve. If the deal falls through, the 4 is going to get much higher. Still, it can't be constantly like this...can't keep turning to suicide as an option or solution to every disappointment or hurt...that goes for self-harm too.

4 replies

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In response to: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

Unknown userMember04 Mar 2018, 10:43 pm AEDT

Re: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

Hiya @Lemonjuice - sounds like a really difficult way to live with your nephew being like that... Wears us down to be living with it constantly. 😞 And selling a house on top of that is another major stress! sending hugs and listening.

In response to: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor05 Mar 2018, 7:56 pm AEDT

Re: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

@Lemonjuice I think it's important to remember that thoughts are just thoughts and we don't need to act on them. According to Linehan (who developed DBT), thinking about suicide can be very soothing. She argues that the aim of the game isn't to stop the thoughts, but to recognise them as just thoughts and that they don't need to be acted on.

I often daydream about suiciding, in much the same way as I might daydream about what I'd do if I won lotto or something. That is, as Linehan says, daydreaming about it can be soothing. Thoughts are just thoughts, they can't hurt us. We are still fully in control of whether we choose to act on those thoughts or not.

You mentioned that if the sale of your house falls through, your risk of suicide will increase. I wonder if it would be helpful to put a sign up somewhere reminding yourself that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I mean, another deal might come along a week later and go through successfully. I think that would really suck to suicide over something that was resolved a week later!

In response to: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

LemonjuiceSenior Contributor07 Mar 2018, 11:05 pm AEDT

Re: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

@Phoenix_Rising Thanks for writing to me. What you said is pretty much what I have been doing. I breathe through it, allow it but try to add physical activities to break the thoughts, etc. Still, there are times where it's more than just daydreaming...it's the difference between my controlling the thoughts or the thoughts controlling me. I'm ok and hanging in there. 💓

In response to: Re: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

Unknown userMember08 Mar 2018, 4:13 pm AEDT

Re: Reacting with suicidal thoughts.

Hello @Lemonjuice

Sorry to hear you are experiencing that abuse from your nephew, that is just not okay at all, I can see how that would be impacting on your thoughts and overall mental health so it is good you are talking it out here on the forums. How are things going for you today? Lunar

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