Trying to be more social - but what do I say?

Hi @Former-Member

I have so much trouble with conversations like that, where i feel so awkward and take on that feeling of shame... I remember people asking me when i was going back to work so much when i was ill (all except mh people who wanted me to stay off work or go back on part time etc). Its so hard to know how to respond to those questions. Similarly people always ask where my family is or where am i from etc and if i say i dont have family they raise their eyes and look confused and i say, well i dont have anything to do with my family of origin, and then they ask oh, where do they live? and more questions about them because they cant really understand that i really don't have any family at all... and most questions that they ask I dont really know how to answer either!

Whether or not to be open about your MI is really hard. I had no choice about everyone knowing because of difficult circumstances but i find it really hard to talk about my difficulties/MI stuff in person, even if i wanted to. I wonder whether for most people its about how close a friend or acquaintance it is that is asking the question?

@Former-Member@Former-Member Ahhh yes I know exactly what you both mean. I used to get it when I was a stay at home mum for awhile ... I would literally get people looking down their noses at me .... when I went back to work it was better ... so now that I am a carer for my son and have an mi it is like water off a duck's back. I just say it as it is I am a carer and I have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder. Put that in your pipe and smoke it if you dont like it.

If people dont like me for who I am well that is okay because I dont really care one way or the other. I have people around me that do and that is great and they know about my mi and me being a carer. So I prefer to be up front and honest whithout scaring them half to death lol.

Thank you @Former-Member and @Bunniekins

"I just say it as it is I am a carer and I have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder. Put that in your pipe and smoke it if you dont like it." I like that 🙂 Put it in your pipe and smoke it. I do like not to care, but I do know I need to meet people. Perhaps I just mixed with the wrong people?

I in general don't know what to say I do... I lose a lot of time, like in I don't know where the time has gone. My current "job" is looking after self-care basics. That's a great opener for meeting new people. Q: what do you do? A: making sure that I have a shower. A: trying to find a balance between achievement and pleasant/social/self-care activities. A: trying to be kind to myself. A: practicing my coping skills. A: ensuring I have enough energy to go to my treatment.

I actually feel like looking after my mental health is a full time job at the moment and I think I should get recongnition for that, but when talking to people I just feel like a whinger and bludger.

And I am too tired to wave the stigma flag and try to educate people.

@Former-Member I just don't know how to socialise if I just do not talk about MI. Unfortunately MI has been my main challenge in the past few years and I am still trying to learn how to integrate that with the "real world"

I understand about your family. I have a family I choose not to be in touch with and understand the eye-brow-raising... I actually don't know why people are like that. Every family I ever cam closer to has the gossip poltics... I have never met an extended family that was lovely throughout. I rather choose friends that like me.