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I made a thread here on Reporting sexual assault about a month ago. I plan to go to the police in about 10 days. But. I'm starting to have doubts about reporting it. Like what if it never happened. I was in the psych ward for psychosis and suicidal ideation. I was in the middle of a psychotic episode. I was pacing in the court yard because I was having a bad time with the voices in my head. Another patient came into the court yard and after I did a few more laps he came onto me. But could I have made it up. On bad days I hallucinate. I'm also worried the police won't take me seriously due to this. I'm scared
@The-red-centaur - what a horrible thing to go through. Whether or not the police take you seriously us irrelevant. They are not the judge or jury. You have to feel comfortable with your decision so that you can move on and begin to heal.
I suffered several episodes in my childhood of sexual assault. Now, in my 40s I also have trouble distinguishing what probably happened VS what might have happened VS what ACTUALLY happened.
I had a pyschologist tell me that it doesn't really matter re: whether it really happened or not. Often the brain shuts down in trauma, and dissociation occurs to protect us from the really ugly, horrible stuff. Therefore what I'm saying if you are recalling some of this stuff, and it makes you feel uncomfortable, ashamed, guilty, sad, angry or whatever, then it's likely to have happened.
I hope you get some resolutions of this that eases your fears.
In response to: Re: What if I made it up
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: What if I made it up
Hi @The-red-centaur, just happened to see your post here. I feel great compassion for you in this. I've had a similar situation in my life, though it was related to childhood trauma.
Do you have a psychologist or other kind of counsellor to talk to about this? I think you need some real life support given you are now having these doubts, if possible. Wishing you the best.
In response to: What if I made it up
The-red-centaurSenior Contributor
Re: What if I made it up
@Sans911@Mazarita I have a psychologist and case manager both of which I'm seeing next week. I guess if I could postpone reporting until I feel comfortable. It's already been a year and a half so another few weeks won't hurt.
In response to: What if I made it up
Sans911Senior Contributor
Re: What if I made it up
@The-red-centaur I think you've already answered your own question right? Maybe just a little extra time might give it more clarity or you could ask either your case manager or pyschologist for support and guidance. Whatever happens, you are taking a brave, bold step that should not be underestimated.
It is quite possible that when you do report this assault that it might stir up lots of emotions. It might be really useful to have some kind of management plan in place so that is everything gets really wobbly you at least have professional/personal supports I'm place.
In response to: Re: What if I made it up
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Re: What if I made it up
@The-red-centaur, I think it would be a good idea to postpone, at least until you have discussed things with your supports. If you do proceed after that, it would be good to have plans in place on how you will manage your mental health through the process, as @Sans911 suggested. Kindest wishes, Maz
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