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ChrisSenior Contributor
Every day seems the same.
Push myself forward. Get through the day
Exhusted cant do it anymore
Every day is the same. Do it for family
There the ones that count.
Me who am i?
Just a fading shadow that doesnt really count
When im gone, I'll be just a fading memory
Noone that counts.
In response to: Is it worth the struggle?
utopiaSenior Contributor
In response to: Is it worth the struggle?
frogSenior Contributor
@Chris you capture it well. That's exactly how I felt waking up today@utopia I bet there are lots of us on the forums who share this sense of struggle and futility. Wishing you both well for the day ahead.
In response to: Re: Is it worth the struggle?
ChrisSenior Contributor
Thank you both
I hope i can get an appointment with my psychiatrist today
In response to: Is it worth the struggle?
Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor
Hi @Chris,
It sounds like things are super tough for you right now.
I think all people are fading shadows that ultimately don't really count. I mean, how many people who died two hundred years ago are still remembered and mourned today? There are 7.5 billion people on this planet right now - we are hardly an endangered species.
I think people are only truly considered to be of value by their friends and family. Those of us who do not have that, really don't have a lot of worth. I know if I was to die today, there isn't anyone to arrange my funeral. I figure there are processes in place for the State to dispose of unclaimed bodies.
I can cite dozens and dozens of reasons why I know I don't matter very much - the most recent being last Wednesday when a decision was made that put the wellbeing of someone who did me harm, ahead of my own.
I do not matter,
I'm only one person,
Destroy me completely,
Then throw me away.
So...is it worth it? I take great comfort in knowing I will die one day, and at 40 years old, I feel like I'm on the home stretch now. I choose to stay alive because I want to change the world. For me, that goal is what makes it worth it.
In response to: Re: Is it worth the struggle?
Unknown userMember
Hi @Chris
Your piece of writing seems to have struck quite a chord, and put into words how a lot of people might feel when they’re very low. Thank you for sharing it, it’s so hard to keep going sometimes. It can be so hard to keep going when everything feels the same.
Were you able to get an appointment with your psychiatrist today?
In response to: Re: Is it worth the struggle?
ChrisSenior Contributor
No apointment. She is booked out.
My next appointment booked is friday next week.
A long time to wait.
So super sensitive. I couldnt get out that i really needed to see her.
Just took it as a rejection!
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