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Hurting2311Casual Contributor
In response to: Worried about my daughter
CatcakesSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Worried about my daughter
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Thanks for tagging me @Catcakes ..... 💕
Hi @Hurting2311. I am so glad you have found us here at the forums, because apart from anything else, you are going to need support to get through this.
I would suggest, while this is still in its relatively early stages, that you try to make a deal with your daughter ..... that you will be accepting and supportive of her decision if she clears it with a dietician first, and ask to attend along with her so you are all on the same page.
You need to be careful how you present this to her .... eating disorders are about control issues .... if you present this as an ultimatum, she is more likely to refuse it and you have a locked in power dynamic happening. Keeping to “I statements” is advisable, and opening with something like. “I am concerned about you and would like to understand better how I can support your personal decisions. I am lacking in confidence about this, and I would like you to come with me to a dietician to help me with it. Are you open to that ?”
One of the hardest things to come to terms with regarding any mental illness .....and eating disorders are a mental illness, not about the food itself..... is that as an adult your daughter has a full entitlement to her own decisions, even if they are harmful to her, unless she is found to be a danger to herself or someone else .... and she can refuse to attend a gp for assessment.
I have a husband with an undiagnosed, well hidden eating disorder, but it is progressively catching up on him. It won’t remain hidden.
Good luck with it all ..... we are here to walk along with you and help you manage the journey.
💜🌷
In response to: Re: Worried about my daughter
Unknown userMember
HI @Hurting2311 🙂 welcome.
As you can see there are many wonderful members here within the forums, thank you @Catcakes and @Faith-and-Hope 🙂 I hope you can find some support and interesting information here.
Thank you for sharing that information with us about your daughter. I think it's fair to say that we can feel very isolated when supporting loved ones, I hope you begin to feel less alone as you connect with others here.
Perhaps contacting The Butterfly Foundation or the Sane Help Centre on 1800 187 263 for more 1:1 information, support and referral. The Butterfly Foundation have some great information on the website which is linked above.
It can also be helpful to use the search function on the forum, if you type eating disorder into the search icon a number of threads pop up. Here is on from a Topic Tuesday on disordered eating & recovery: Building & maintaining hope, which you might like to have a look at.
In the mean time, may I ask if you are doing things to care for you? I'm asking you this because often a carers focus can be so much on caring for others that they can forget to care about themselves. Looking after you throught is of vital importance too 🙂
Pebbles 🙂
In response to: Worried about my daughter
Hurting2311Casual Contributor
In response to: Worried about my daughter
Hurting2311Casual Contributor
In response to: Worried about my daughter
Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor
Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.
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