Please Help...

Hi @Einahpets

This definitely sounds like trauma. She is exhibiting separation anxiety which is something I experienced when experiencing complicated grief. She would be feeling extreme fear of abandonment. Anytime someone leaves the house or moves out of her sight her mind is telling them they will not come back. That she will be all alone. She is convinced of this and is not feeling safe. This sounds like from what you posted, the result of losing her father and not expressing this grief (suppressed). Were they very close - I would say yes by her reaction. Her protector was gone. She may not be coping with his loss feeling "all her love is gone" also. She doesn't feel safe in the world and would find it hard to cope with basic things. So she clings and is needy feeling extremely insecure as a result.

Moving soon after the death of a loved one to an environment where she didn't have any emotional support or was unfamiliar to her would of compounded the loss, grief and the feelings of being alone and unsafe.

I would also be inquiring where possible if any incidents of bullying or any kind of abuse could of occurred at college To eliminate any other cause. And if ocassional reactional drugs were taken to cope (not all can be traced if taken previously).

I experienced similar (but worse) when I had a mental breakdown. Medication was nessecary to ease the anxiety and also sedatives (in a emergency as they are a hard habit to break and can make anxiety worse in the long run). Your relative will need intense grief/trauma counselling, a lot of love and reassurance. And when she is on the mend encouraged to spend some time on her own, go out for a walk on her own etc as long term avoidance can result in agoraphobia (I suffered this) and virtually one has no life but in the home as anxiety becomes a monster that controls. This can be avoided with the right help.

Instilling a sense of confidence, hope and faith that all will be alright is part of the healing. All the above was necessary for me. It will be quite a journey to come back from with baby steps.

I hope your relative is better soon - it's a huge concern for family members and can take its toll on them as well, so if all family members rally round for support it will also help tremendously. Hoping everything gets better for all soon.

Your very welcome @Einahpets . Please keep us updated with her progress and if you ever want to talk about anything just tag me 😊