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New to the group

DelCasual Contributor09 Jan 2018, 1:35 pm AEDT

New to the group

My story seems overwhelming and yes I do feel great sadness and am looking for carers who will know what I am going through. My 37 year old son born with an intellectual disability was diagnosed 12 years ago with schizophrenia. He is a beautiful soul and he is taking a med and seems to be ok. My main problem is that my husband, my rock, has fallen into depression/anxiety because if tinnitus brought on by working in the building industry. Over the last 4 years the problem has gotten worse and he has been in and out if Northside Clinic with very little helping his condition. He is on medication but the ups and downs are like being on an emotional rollercoaster for me. I go through stages where I want to run away but I am the main carer, not only to my son but to my husband now so running away us not an option. I cry a lot lately and being a woman in my 60s I am starting to see my life slipping away from me. Does anyone feel like me? I am sure there are thousands out there who are feeling that there is very little support for us, the carers. Your thoughts?

5 replies

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In response to: New to the group

DeterminedSenior Contributor09 Jan 2018, 7:41 pm AEDT

Re: New to the group

Hi @Del and welcome to the forum,

While my situation is diffrent from yours the reality of being a carer is the same and I can relate to the feelings that you have expressed here. Especially over the past 12 months.

I support my wife who lives with Borderline personality disorder, (she spent a significant amount of time in hospital last year), we also have a son with an intellectual disability (12 years old), a 10 year old son and a 2 year old. My darling and 3 little people depend on me so even a short time out is hard let alone running away.

One of my biggest challenges (emotionally) other than the caring role is being unemployed for the past 4 years due to burnout but also the level of support my darling and children require.

Happy to chat if you need an ear.

In response to: New to the group

dands26Senior Contributor09 Jan 2018, 8:35 pm AEDT

Re: New to the group

Hi @Del
Welcome to the group.
Although my situation is different to yours i do understand the feeling of there being little aupport for careers.
However after joining this forum approximately 3 months ago i have always felt like there are people who understand me and can relate even if their situation differs to mine.

My now ex decided that he thought i would leave him when the extent of his depression come out in counselling and figured it be best to leave me first.
This then panicked him even more because he needed me as he realised how much i looked after him.
My MIL has now moved interstate and am caring for a very deoressed freshly medicated ex.

Always happy for a chat if you feel like one 🙂

In response to: New to the group

DelCasual Contributor09 Jan 2018, 9:53 pm AEDT

Re: New to the group

Thanks have sent an email back.

In response to: New to the group

Unknown userMember09 Jan 2018, 11:10 pm AEDT

Re: New to the group

Hey @Del

I care for my husband who has bipolar ii with major depressive episodes and anxiety.

I was able to get some carer support through Wellways, initially Mr Darcy was in crisis mode and the message of self care and the need to look after oneself as a carer did not sink in and perhaps I was too stressed to hear it.

Now things have settled I see the importance of self care, for me it has been things like finding a style of clothing that suits me, putting on lippy when I go out, meeting friends for coffee, getting my teeth attended to, trying out a new recipe, getting a regular hair cut, being able to stop doing things for Mr D that he can now do. Recently I listened to a talk about caring for someone with BP (posted in the "what's new" tab) and they suggested carers need to do something for themselves 3 times a week and I can see that this is a goal well worth pursuing and I am looking at how I can do this.

There is dedicated support available through Carers Australia as well as various mental health support groups. The carers on this forum are fantastic too, offering different perspectives on things.

I think there is a lot of grief in all of this and once I recognized this I was able to start moving on a bit. I also got a lot of hope from a faith based website that you can live well in spite of a mental health diagnosis.

Sorry for rambling on, hope something is of help to you ...

Darcy

In response to: New to the group

Unknown userMember23 Jan 2018, 7:00 pm AEDT

Re: New to the group

@Del

Topic Tuesday tonight 7pm AESDT Carer burnout

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