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What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

ChrisSenior Contributor05 Jan 2018, 12:25 am AEDT

What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

Im confused about this. My psychiatrist and psychiatrist tell me i am connected,.

But i dont feel connected. I feel like i just go through the motions.

But then one of my adult children was very angry about a situation that is hapening. He was very forceful about what should hapen next, even though he doesnt live in our house. His words were very painful to me. They tore me apart.. I became very distressed about what he had said. So am i connected ? All i can think of.is, if this is connection i dont want any part of it.

Ive worked very hard to make things different for my children. All ive ever wanted is for them to be stable well adjusted adults. And to have each other. Now it just seems like they fight with one another and are estranged from each other. It just breaks my heart. I guess i am being unrealistic. Maybe siblings just grow apart over the years. I just wanted so much more for them.

The question of being connected. For me its painful. It always end the same, and i dont want any part of it. Ive had more than a lifetime of pain and sorrow. Cant cope with anymore.

5 replies

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In response to: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

utopiaSenior Contributor05 Jan 2018, 12:54 pm AEDT

Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

@Chris - as hard as it is, your children will sort themselves out. Arguing or bonding. That's up to them.
You need to focus on you just now. Not worrying about them or what they say.
I have learnt to interrupt family members in the middle of them giving unasked for advice. I tell them plainly. Stop. I don't want to hear your advice. It's not asked for. It's not wanted. I'm old enough to manage myself.
Do you think you would be able to say something similar, the next time they offer an opinion?

In response to: Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

Unknown userMember05 Jan 2018, 1:41 pm AEDT

Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

Hi Chris,

To answer your question titling this thread to the best of my knowledge:-

We are all connected to each other biologically, chemically and spiritually (soul).

Everyone has free will.

We are connected where every action has a reaction and a consequence on each other and the world as a whole..

This natural inborne connectedness can be nurtured with love, kindness, forgiveness, fairness, integrity, honesty, good will and basically treating other as we would like to be treated.

That inborne connectedness can also be broken and destroyed through consistent selfishness, bad will, self centredness, grudges, disrespect, anger, injustice, greed, distrust, hate, jealousy and violating another detrimentally mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Those who practice the latter also serving to disconnect from themselves resulting in emptiness and a lack of peace. The consequences are felt.

Sorry about the anger directed at you. That must be really hurtful. @utopia's advice is good - protect and look after your well being also. Wishing you the best outcome.

In response to: Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

ChrisSenior Contributor05 Jan 2018, 4:07 pm AEDT

Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

I really dont know if i could tell them to butt out, even though a part of me wanted to tell him it wasnt any of his business. He speaks to his father pretty regularly. He never rings me or ask his dad how i am. I know that i could phone him. But i dont.

I just feel so shocked at what he said

In response to: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

Manicmatt22Contributor05 Jan 2018, 4:49 pm AEDT

Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

Chris, coming from someone so far disconnected from his family. Dwell on this for a little while:

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”

— Buddha

And one more:

“In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then believe them to be true.”

Why as human beings, do we struggle to be accepted, loved, understood, cherished, obeyed?
Moments are fleeting and spending time trying to keep everyone else happy is exhausting. Live, Love, Dream. Don't let expectations and disappointments run your life.
As for what siblings do to each other. We live in an age of instant gratification and entitlement. We hurt those closest to us swiftly, with ease, like a thief in the night. Don't get involved in adult/children education unless asked. Don't assume people want your opinion. No one is perfect even though many of us masquerade as this. People make mistakes, people judge. Who cares what other people think? Love like you've never been hurt. Help a random stranger. Take the advice that works for you.
When given the choice of being Kind or being Right, choose Kindness, an connections will begin to build or rebuild. If people are unkind in return than they're either having a really bad time of it themselves or, they don't deserve you in their life.
Take it easy Chris. Don't sweat the little stuff. Talk to those who are happy to listen. Happy 2018 😉

In response to: Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

ChrisSenior Contributor05 Jan 2018, 9:13 pm AEDT

Re: What does it mean to be connected to another person or people related or not?

Thanks for the support.

Its a work in progress with conection. I still have alot to learn.

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