Frustration with Health Professionals

hi @DD5

KobeCat here, one of the overnight moderators.

Welcome to the Forums. You have shown a lot of strength in coming to the forums and seeking help.

Here you will find a lot of wisdom, experience and kindness that may help you at this difficult time. It is important to connect with others which help will help you to make sense of what you are feeling. I am sure you will get replies soon from other members.

Hi DD5,

I understand your frustration, as I have experienced it also. After 18 years I have finally found a somewhat competant GP who is not patronising and just simply does her job. I have not managed to find a competant Psychologist or Psychiatrist though. There is quite an emphasis on payment and this is because of the healthcare system, which despite all the advertising campaigns does not seem to place much value on providing affordable mental health care. The government needs to regulate practitioners to ensure they all charge the same rate and provide Medicare rebates on the day of service. I recently paid $325 for a Psychiatrist who was absoluetly useless, then I had to wait a week to get the rebate back because she did not put the date of referral on the receipt. When I told her Medicare were not accepting the receipt she was very flippant about it and said she was not in the office. I had to wait an extra day in addition to the extra week because she was too lazy to fix the problem straight away. Psychiatrists in particular seem oblivious to the fact that we cannot afford to be out of pocket for a week. Credit card or not Credit Card it is a substantial amount to incur.The other issue is that many are not up to date with the latest research and remedies...I found myself educating her, rather than the other way around. I have given up trying to find "professional" help and prefer to engage in the support groups where you are a speaking with people that have lived experience and can offer genuine solutions, not to mention it is far cheaper...... I really do wonder how these people received their credentials.

I wonder whether she has even been diagnosed correctly? Diagnosis is a difficult thing and often it is incorrect and people are labelled and stigmatised, hence their condition worsens as a result.

You say she has violent outbursts that are difficult to control, are there particular times that this occurs? Is your wife able to communicate her frustrations with you openly? Do you have children? Does she work? There are so many variables that could be acting as a catalyst for these outbursts and it is important that these are determined so that it reduces the severity next time around. There may be life changes that your wife can make that may reduce the frequency of the outbursts as well. Based on what you have said it seems you are better off seeing a Psychologist or Counsellor rather than a Psychiatrist, as you are more likely to receive strategic advice and support; Psychiatrists are just overpaid script monkeys. I wish I could recommend somebody to you, but perhaps if you go to some different support groups, people there may have some recommendations in relation to Psychologists they know or have used. Speaking for myself my anxiety and anger is greatly reduced when I have structure and control in my life. I am no longer working either, hence my stress levels have greatly reduced. Your wife can apply for income protection support with your superannuation company if you require additional income to help you through this time if she doesn't already have the DSP.

Good luck!

Hi @DD5

Despite there being strong evidence that including the carer as a valued member of the treating team gives far better outcomes for the patient, communication between health professionals and carers especially in the private sector is far from ideal. At the cornerstone is patient confidentiality - if your wife gives permission for the pdoc to speak to you there is no reason why they should refuse to give appropriate information - this is the crux of the matter - has your wife given or refused permission? If she has denied you this, the doctors are bound by this, however, as the attached talk tells you, confidentiality does not preclude you from providing information. In the public system there are obligations to carers under the mental health charter, but a patient still can exclude their partner from being given information.

I am fortunate that I am included in my husband's treatment (public system). This does not mean I go in to all his appointments - I would not want to go into his psychologist appt as he needs to be able to speak freely to them without feeling I have influenced them in any way. He sees the pdoc firstly by himself and I go in at the end and things are summarised and I can ask questions if needed. I give the pdoc my observations.

I have learned very little from the treating team, most of the things I know about MI and the drugs that treat them are from my own research. I also did a carer education class with Wellways which was very helpful.

Do you have any support for yourself or do things that help you cope?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRO0-JXuFMY

What you are referring to is the psychosocial model of practice, which is usually in the domain of Social Workers. You may like to try speaking to one to see if you can get any assistance. The best approach would be to attend counselling sessions with your wife, however seeing as she does not want you there this is difficult. If your wife does in fact have a personality disorder (I think PD's are just made up by practitioners for those in the too hard basket), medication will not help, however it may assist with the bipolar. You are a wonderful person for sticking by her, not many people would, however you need to make sure you look after yourself also. She needs to understand the importance of you being included in her treatment process and if she can't then that is an issue for the both of you. You need to be honest with her and tell her how it is affecting you in a way that will not set off another outburst and you need to assess your quality of life.