Boyfriend ended relationship because of depression

Hi @Anna88 and welcome to the boards.

I know it seems strange sometimes, some of the behaviours mental illness can cause in people sometimes, especially our loved ones. I know I've called off a relationship in the past due to my mental health issues. It was at a time that I felt incapable of loving someone, mainly because I didn't even love myself (and I don't mean being egotistical here). I had no self-respect and couldn't expect anyone else to show me love and support when all I thought were dark thoughts.

Perhaps your boyfriend is feeling some of the same? It sounds like he really wants to be with you, as he is acknowledging you and your relationship with him was the good part of his life. It is just he is trapped in the emotional 'darkness' at the moment.

It's great he has sought out counselling. Try to remember you've done nothing wrong, that his depression is caused by this family situation that you have mentioned. Allow him time to process this and come back to you stronger than before.

I know at the moment, it hurts that you aren't together, but hopefully, with his counselling, it'll give him tips and allow him to process what is happening for him.

Again, welcome to SANE!

@Anna88
Hey, I was just woundering how things went with ur relationship. I'm currently going through a similar situation with my 3year partner. We r on a "break" not break up because he wanted to work things out in his head. He says he wants to be with me, loves me but I know he has a lot of fear at the moment. It's stemed from a conversation about moving in and future together. He's always seen a future with me, says we will get married one day. Then he said recently, I don't know what I want. We made me realise he's not going well at the moment. He's still seeing friends and family, but not talking to anyone about us, said to a close friend I'm kind of ignoring it all at the moment. We haven't seen each other for 1 and half months. I miss him lots, I've messaged only twice and said I'm always here for him even if he doesn't want to talk. He's an amazing man, I know I can't be the one to help, but I'm trying to support from a distance at the moment. I'm struggling to know how to be there for him and I'm doing my best to look after myself as well. I don't want to pressure him, as I know he's not feeling worthy at the moment which is hard to watch because he is so worth it. Is giving him space and time important and helpful? I'm trying to reach out and connect with others through similar situations, because even after 3 years I still have so much more to learn, understand and support. Thank you