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Something’s not right

An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

I have always loved my family: My brothers, my dad, but most especially my mother. As a child I would have seperation anxiety nightmares of watching helplessly while the people I love move on without me, waving to me. These images still haunt me to this day, I reacted to them so strongly.

We all have our flaws, and I have naturally had times where even the people I love most have tormented or upset me, whether they mean to or not. As the years have passed and I have grown to become a more highly functioning individual, my family has changed as much as I have. My eldest brother has left to live with his beloved. My father and mother have separated. My middle brother, autistic and psychotic, is both someone I love and whom I despise. I, the youngest sibling, have kind of just been along for the ride, struggling to find my own place and identity.

My middle brother is both the storm and its eye, the thing that has torn my family to shreds and yet kept it united. He is a lovable burden. During puberty he became violently psychotic, frequently attacking my father, my eldest brother, and even threatening the life of myself and my mother; the most important person in my life. The childish temperament of autism combined with teenage angst and psychosis created a miserable, angry figure in my life who I came to hate with a passion. I hated what he did to my family, justifying himself with snarky, poorly thought out responses and countless, non-existant characters that poisoned his mind and reasoning.

Myself and my mother clung to one another for support as she and my mother seperated, but I found myself sinking as she too succamb to a stress-induced psychosis. The person I loved most in my life became intolerable. I left home and practically abandoned the studies she wanted so badly for me to succeed at to find refuge with my father. Living in the mountains, I descended into a state of chronic depression, spending roughly five years miserable, self-hating and achieving nothing.

In my absence, with the help of other family, my mother recovered, and my middle brother too. He finally has medication which has stifled the worst of his psychosis and rendered him mostly calm and pleasant, if at times melancholy. In his mid twenties, he still bears that insufferable teen angst, and his repertoire of unlikable personalities continues to accumulate. I don't understand how or why he clings onto such foul characters, but I suppose each of them reflect his childishness and surliness and they serve to protect his psyche in some alien way. I now live with my mother and middle brother again.

Life is tolerable now. I am no longer so horribly depressed that I scream with agony from repressed trauma and pain, but I am melancholic and despondent. I am not confident and lack the motivation to pursue my dreams and the things I love to do, such as artwork. I waste away my hours, putting on weight and stare forlornly out at the blue sky as it fades to orange. Again and again.

Do you know what it's like to be twenty-two and to suffer from back pains? My corpulence is destroying my back. When I lay in bed, on my stomach, the weight of my stomach pains my spine, and I need a cushion directly beneath my belly to alleviate it. A life-time of escapism using computers that continues to this day leaves me mortified of damaging my eye-sight; I try and keep track of the floaters in my vision, but it's hard.

People tell me not to dwell on my present and hope for my future, but I am doomed to inherit my brother with his impossible needs and hopeless existance. I love my brother, I love my mother, I love my whole family dearly, but I feel as if I am bound to them forever, and have no hope of striking out on my own and being alone. Alone, but not lonely.

I will stop here. I have written a lot. I doubt many will read all of this; I just needed to vent.
If YOU are reading this, please know that I do not wish to speak of anything in person. I merely need to vent now and then, just as any of us do.

11 replies

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In response to: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Hello @Orphanim

I wanted to let you know that I did read all of your post...

word for word..

would you like to talk ?

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

@Former-Member

I'm flattered that you did. I would love to talk.

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

welcome @Orphanim

very clever ..

you write very well..

is writing something that you enjoy as well as it helping with venting?

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

@Former-Member

Thank you!

Writing is something both that I enjoy doing creatively and recreationally. It also helps for venting too. I guess it's something that comes more naturally to me, wheras I feel I struggle more with drawing. I haven't been doing much with either though in a long while.

I use most of my writing energy on roleplay for the purpose of escapism, and whenever I try to draw I become very self conscious and usually end up crying.

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

@Orphanim

Writing creatively? Have you had anything published?

no need to divulge anything that might encroach on your privacy..

I ask out of interest...you mentioned escapism and role play ..

as for drawing ..feeling self conscious...sometimes resulting in crying ...too painful an experience...

I understand major depression...

sometimes the urge to sob and wail relentlessly...sometimes not an ounce of energy...heaviness...numb

then without warning tears..

I talk to myself a lot and to my two cats when I am on my own....

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

@Former-Member

I used to want to publish things. I had a big story in mind after I finished high school about a little girl called Sienna. I've never actually had anything published, or finished for that matter. Nothing much to show, sadly.

And yeah, roleplay. It's not the Dungeons and Dragons sort, with dice rolling and character sheets. It's more just me and another person collaboratively writing a little story together for mutual benefit. I've met a lot of internet friends through it since I first started doing it on Omegle back in 2013. I've moved onto better websites for the hobby since then.

Yeah, drawing is hard. I love to do it, drawing from my imagination, bringing my characters to life. But in the process of trying to get better at it I've become too self conscious about my ability and can no longer enjoy it.

There were times when I was really depressed where I was just immobilised in my bed, screaming at the top of my lungs, with no one around me to comfort me. I'm kind of surprised I never attracted the neighbours' attention. I only ever came close to harming myself once, though, and I didn't go through with it. I'm grateful I don't indulge in it, at least.

I actually talk to myself a lot too. Even if it's not out loud, I always have an internal monologue that sometimes speaks in the second person, using words like 'we' instead of 'I'. I used to be concerned that I was crazy because of it. Often I also imagine myself in scenarios when I'm deep in thought, playing out a potential conversation with another person: Often when I'm sitting on the toilet or something mundane like that, I suddenly catch myself having a detailed interview with myself in my head and feel kind of embarrassed.

It's a funny habit I've picked up over the years, but I think it helps me practice for social situations. I also talk to my pet bunny, because he's a lovely, little darling.

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Oh yes most definitely talk to myself within my mind...

I constantly find myself mid-way assertively speaking to people who irritate me in real life...my way of getting around not telling them outright...keep the peace..

I also analyse everything to de..h....

when I am not isolating myself I am nowhere near as intense ...or physically tense..

crying is good when we have depression...

I have psychotherapy which works well for me...

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Yeah, I know what you mean! That was my main method of coping with school bullies. I often find I'll pass by someone while I'm walking and start vividly imagining an argument with them over something and how I would deal with it. It gets me kind of tense at times.

The same themes of being challenged and getting into altercations with people turns up a lot in my dreams. Last night I had a dream that I was back in school and got into a violent fight. I get lots of school-related dreams.

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Ah dreams...

school dreams yes I used to have dreams of that age group...that period of my life..people from different times in my life would appear...

a huge middle of my life ...often blank faces without features...

psycotherapy has helped me deal with most of the recurring dreams that I used to have...Unresolved or painful issues..

thanks for talking openly about depression...quite refreshing..Discussing experiences not just feelings..

I must go to sleep or attempt to at least...I have insomnia....not a friend of depression ..so I respect it as much as I can laugh..

hope to see you on here again..

have you checked out the writing as therapy thread I think it is called?

take care and talk again

In response to: Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Re: An eternity of family. Shackles of love.

Sorry I forgot to tag you in above message @Orphanim

cheers

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