RedshoesCasual Contributor
Bipolar partner - lost with what to do next...
I've been with my partner for about 2 1/2 years and he was diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago and bipolar about 18 months ago. He sees a psychiatrist every month, but they're still establishing what mood stabilisers will work for him. He's on ADHD medication and supplments that he takes regularly, but the mood swings are still extreme.
I know he has key triggers for his lows, which a key one is financial stress. We're expecting our first baby and I'm almost halfway. Since we found out, he has been putting so much pressure on himself, he's in the biggest low I've ever experienced with him - he's given up on life.
We've taken a hit in our finances over the past few months and we need both our incomes at the moment, and he's just lost all motivation to do anything. He's a sales rep, and can't get out of bed most mornings, is not making any sales and as he works on commission, is not getting any income. The fact that he's not getting sales is adding to his low and it's getting worse and worse as the weeks go on. The low has been going for almost three months now.
He knows that he needs a good night sleep to be able to focus and motivate the next day, but doesn't want to go to bed and verbally abuses me when I suggest bed.
He can have follow up work to do and he blatantly lies to his boss.
He's also getting worse at taking his medication.
I know he works better with positive reinforcement, and I'd been working on that - despite nothing changing. However, after missing a really important pregnancy appointment because he felt like playing xbox, I finally cracked. I told him something has to change. He's given up on all his responsibilities, he needs to have a look at his priorities and perhaps set out a timeline or a calendar for the day and he needs to see his psychiatrist more often.
Since I did that it's been world war three. He's verbally abusive almost daily. He's told me everything's my fault. I'm the reason he can't sell at work, I'm too emotional being pregnant and I'm ruining everything. He's said that he doesn't see the point to life, but then reassures me that he's not going to do anything silly. He agrees that he needs to start putting some of my suggestions into place, but doesn't act on it, then verbally abuses me more if I suggest it.
His psychiatrist is on holidays and he has the next available appointment when he gets back, but it's not for another two weeks.
I feel so lost with what to do. I tell him positives every day about how much I love him and amazing things that he's done so he's hearing all of that. Am I just in for years more of heartbreak?
