Back again to not sleeping

Hi this my third day awake not fast ATM but having periods of it. Been writing in Facebook a lot. My hands are cramping because of it. Anyway I'm not in a rambling mood ATM more of a feeling helpless with the way our my service is here how I was treated last time I required there service in full mania and didn't recieve it so in scared too.
I don't want to tell the deep thoughts I'm having to close ones.
I'm angry more and focused on social justice
Truth is I'm now aware and praying I don't go beyond I'm not full of beans but my mind is.
So I question where am I at?
Been so positive then just anger and thoughts of self harm which I'm not doing but questioning it
Stupid hey
I'm sore physically
And want to keep to myself mostly
But not isolating completely
I want to put stigma everywhere on my body stigma leftover
I feel someone put me in a doggy bag but no one wanted what's left of me
Crazy
When there's people that love me
I have two amazing sons who treasure our times together
They didn't stigmatise me
Frustration is building to tears
Guess I'm coping you would say but inner world is kaos
And the pattern frightens me but I can't predict and I can't prevent