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Coming clean Vol. 2

QueenieSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 9:57 pm AEDT

Coming clean Vol. 2

I think I need to come clean with members and also my Mrs. It is going to really hard so bear with me...

I've been tapering off my meds in order to lose weight. All my medications (antidepressants and antipsychotics) have the side effect of severe weight gain. In all I've gained 35kg despite exercising and eating healthily.

It's not something I'm proud of, especially since I preach the importance of taking medications. My doctors don't know that I've been doing this, in fact, nobody does... until now.

I only take my sleeper (otherwise I don't sleep for days on end). Mood wise I am relatively okay. I would consider myself fairly euthymic which makes me think, did I need such a high dose of antidepressant in the first place? I've learned a lot about myself and what makes me tick through therapy, currently I am midway in a group course of Acceptance & Commitment therapy and it makes an awful lot of sense to me.

I still receive a small dose of antipsychotics via my depot injection each fortnight (there's no escaping that), but other than that I no longer take my dinner time antipsychotic at all and haven't for about 3 months. I had trouble hearing voices the other day, for a few days, but nothing triggering a full-blown psychotic episode. This makes me think that perhaps I don't need such strong doses of 3 different antipsychotics.

Something to discuss with my GP now she is back from leave I guess. She won't be happy with me, but for the first time in the longest time, I actually feel more alert and awake. On meds, I used to sleep for up to 18hrs a day. Now I only sleep 9hrs a day which is a big big improvement. I am more 'with it'. Is that such a bad thing?

I feel so guilty for not sticking completely with my medications. My doctors have agreed I've stabilised (and this has included time off meds) so surely it's time to come clean now?

8 replies

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In response to: Coming clean Vol. 2

NeelixSenior Contributor08 Oct 2017, 11:55 pm AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

Hi @Queenie
I think you are the one who will know if it is ok to taper off meds. You sound informed, you know your medication, you are aware of your responses to reduced medication and you have noticed being alert and awake.

You said you will be talking with your GP so? it sounds that you are aware there are side effects and you will have a chance to ask questions.

No your GP won't be happy and will question your decision. I think she will notice the change in you. I dont think she will encourage you to taper off. But may assist you to get more information about doing it safely.

Don't feel guilty or like you are letting others down. It is about you. It is your choice. It sounds like you have given it thought. I would suggest a 'safety plan' to assist you.

Good luck and remember to be keep yourself safe.

In response to: Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

Unknown userMember09 Oct 2017, 12:06 am AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

Hi @Queenie - i think you know yourself really well. Being honest about it is probably important so that everyone is on the same page but the benefits seem to be good right now - being more alert and awake sounds good. I hate the side effects of meds so much and can understand you reducing. It sounds like the GP who is coming back is someone you trust and feel like you can have a discussion with about everything. I hope it goes well.
Here with you, no judgement 🙂 Let us know how you go.

In response to: Coming clean Vol. 2

utopiaSenior Contributor09 Oct 2017, 9:08 pm AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

@Queenie. Definitely tell your doctor and treating team. You may find you are right and only need a lower dose of some meds.
That's why it's good to keep a diary of medications, stress and emotions /MI struggles. Make sure you show this to your doctor.

In response to: Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

Unknown userMember11 Oct 2017, 10:08 pm AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

Hi @Queenie - how has it all gone? were youable to tell your mrs and dr? hoping that it went ok and they can see the benefits for you too 🙂

In response to: Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

QueenieSenior Contributor11 Oct 2017, 10:34 pm AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

I told my Mrs and it went remarkably well. She is actually really supportive of me trialling going off antipsychotics and sleeping medication. I still have my minimal dose injection fortnightly and I'll probably keep up with that. I went back onto the antidepressants because I've realised they have a bit of mood stabilising effects. I want to stay as euthymic as possible.

My doctor I will be telling on Friday morning (I have an appointment then). I'm prepared that it might have consequences (she'll likely phone my psychiatrist to discuss this with him which is okay). I'm just going to remind them that I am not on a treatment order (haven't for about 7 years), therefore I am able to make decisions regarding my health with my wife.

I'll keep you posted @Former-Member how it all goes.

In response to: Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

Unknown userMember11 Oct 2017, 10:42 pm AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

im so glad that it went well with your Mrs @Queenie 🙂 that is excellent and i think will help a lot with your gp and psych...
well done!

In response to: Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

QueenieSenior Contributor11 Oct 2017, 10:46 pm AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

Thanks, @Former-Member 🙂

I thought it was better if everyone was on the same page rather than to have kept it a secret. That way, if something happens down the track, everyone knows what should or would happen. If that means medication again, then I am not completely anti-medication.

In response to: Coming clean Vol. 2

SanguineSamCasual Contributor28 Nov 2017, 1:01 pm AEDT

Re: Coming clean Vol. 2

hi Queenie

Your message struck a cord with me as I am in the process of tapering off my antipsychotic although for me, I discussed it with my husband and family first and got their support (albeit luke warm, rather fearful support!). When I discussed it with my psychiatrist, I told her only that I wanted to reduce to a lower level not that I intended to taper off completelty. I have done extensive reading and research and it has led me to this point. She was not very supportive but I told her that is what I wanted to try.

In your case, it sounds like you know your medication and their effects very well and were able to adjust acccordingly. One of the things which is very important if you are reducing meds, is to do it very slowly (by 10% reductions for a few weeks to a month before reducing further).

There are some psychiatrists (Dr Peter Breggin is a very vocal one) who believe that mental illness does not require life long medication. I am hoping to prove that to myself and my family; I am not quite half way there yet so time will tell. I am going slowly and am fortunately only on one medication.

Good luck xx

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