Some Questions I've Wanted to Ask For a Long Time (quite possibly triggering)

So I have been wondering about each of these for a while. Sometimes I go into these massively stressful loops where some aspect of something just keeps reocurring in my mind. For instance, I recently added a friend on Facebook whose last name is four syllables and I don't know how to pronounce it. I went to sleep at about 9 pm and woke up amost two hours ago at local time of just before 3:30 in the morning. it is now 5:26 and the entire time I have been awake my mind will not stop running through seven different permutations of pronunciation possibilities and syllable emphasis. Klebesedel, kleBesedel klebeSedel klebeseDal so on and so forth, all seven of them in about a second and a half and then it repeats without even a hint of a pause. This happens with all manner of thoughts, and in memories of every different sense, I'll obsessively remember series of tastes, sounds sights, smells and feelings for hours or days on end and then it just suddenly stops or switches to something else doing the same thing. anybody else do that?

Also, I was wondering if anyone else has ever had an experience which they can only describe as alien. Two or three times in my life, maybe more that I can't remember, I have had a waking experience which did not correlate to anything that can be described because there are no words for the type of input I was receiving. They were like being born on a different planet, I couldn't tell you better than that, it was like my eyes tongue nose etc had been magically replaced with other sense organs that did not give any of the same information whatsoever. During these, I am told that I performed some very strange and varied activities of which I have no memory. I'd elaborate but I have reached the limist of what I can say without being definitely triggering. Does anyone else have a similar story?

Does anyone else feel like a second class citizen? In America, my country, there is a humungous insane homeless population ever since Ronald Reagan closed all of our state run mental facilities. I don't know if that is responsible, but there is often fairly degrading talk about insanity in pretty much all American media and conversation. People regularly say "don't listen to him, he's crazy" and the like. Horror Films are often about the insane here. Even compassionate people are likely to dismiss the concerns or struggles of an insane person and an insane person's rights in America are often trampled under in ways which would be Extremely triggering for me to recount. Looking back through history I could very easily find you Dozens of cases where sane people abused or outright murdered the insane in institutions and these paltry dozens account for tens of thousands of insane people's lives either horrible altered or ended with impunity in my country in the last one hundred years. Our President John Kennedy's sister was forced into a frontal lobotomy which prevented her from being able to speak and that was less than an average lifetime ago! Is this type of treatment a world standard?

Lastly, I was wondering if anyone had, during an episode, ever popped out of lunacy for a couple heartbeats and just had a horrible awareness of how well you were going to remember this particular second of madness for the rest of your life? I've got maybe a dozen or so of these, most in a behavioral health unit in a hospital, being, for lack of a better term, stark and raving and then the ten seconds that I remember clearly of feeling small and weak, hurt and confused by my own actions and utterly disgusted that I knew even in the moment that I would remember this more clearly and more often than my first kiss, or the last time I saw my father.

I really hope that these questions were not responsible for any negative reaction in your day, I've tried my best to word them in a manner that will emphasize how I felt when I developed them and also convey the sense of what I wanted to learn while being as discreet and sensitive as possible. I apologize if I have distressed you in any way.