Sick and tired

HUGS AND HUGS @Queenie

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Thanks for replying @outlander and @Former-Member.

I am tossing up whether or not I should tell my psychiatrist about the SH. I know in reality I should, but it will cause so many problems at home, that I don't really want to open up about it. He has never known me to SH before, as I haven't done it in many years. It is just complicating matters. I am exhausted and it will take about 3hrs by public transport to get to my appointment (it's in another town). I made this appointment prior to the accident when transport wasn't a problem. It is only an hour by car. But now it is bus, train, bus, walk and then back again. I am just in a blur. I feel like going to sleep all the time, only when I sleep I have vivid nightmares so wake up not rested.

My so called friends ignored me because of the stupid misunderstanding. I called them on it and told them their behaviour was childish and immature (did so via Messenger). Now I am blocked. Ho hum! With friends like that, who needs enemies eh? I am just so over it!

The only positive thing to happen anytime soon is possibly (if I can get tickets), is going to see my favourite performer in concert. Likely, the tickets will sell out without me getting a ticket though.

Life just sucks sometimes doesn't it?

hey @Queenie

the decision is ultimately yours however it might be wise to tell your psychiatrist about it. that way they are fully aware of how your are actually going and not just looking at your form the surface.

but it is up to you and we support you which ever way you go

hmm some friends they are, i had the same problem, not sure if your remember that. they ended up blocking me and am still having dramas with those lot. i hope your friends do come around soon enough and stop acting childish

who is your favourite performer? i hope you get some ticket to see them..

and yes life does suck sometimes and like to throw endless curveballs to dodge

Hey @outlander. The tickets for my fav performer (Robbie) go on sale tomorrow. I have my fingers and toes crossed for a ticket. I've seen him at every concert he's done in Queensland. It'll mean a bit of travel and probably an overnight stay in the city, but it'll be worth it. I am an avid fan and respect him because he lives with mh issues also. I remember reading his biography called 'Feel' and having his story with depression really resonate with me. It was my first step towards getting help, so I sincerely thank Robbie for that!

I went to my appointment and while I talked openly about my life and what has been happening for the past few months since I saw my psychiatrist last, I did not open up about the self harm. It was because he had a big smile on his face and said despite everything, I've come a long way. I didn't want to let him down so I kept quiet. Stupid of me I know, I shouldn't be trying to impress him and should be focussing on myself (that's what I pay him for). He even dictated a letter to my GP in my presence and said my condition had stabilised. So now I've shot myself in the foot. I told him I no longer see a psychologist as my sessions had run out. I do have a recovery support worker working with me on my recovery goals (study, physical fitness and diet plus a few other minor things).

I guess all this tiredness means I am looking forward to the new car being delivered to the dealer next Monday. I just hope we don't crash again anytime soon!

I am thinking of going to bed early tonight, but I probably won't sleep (or have nightmares again). At least this flu seems to be abating finally.

Thanks for reading,

Misery-Guts

@Queenieyour not misery-guts, your someone struggling and is as the thread says sick and tired.

Wow, thats an amazing story as to why hes your favourite performer. Very well respected by me too now that I know that.

Thats ok, dont worry about not opening up about the SH. You said if you said something it might make things worse for you. So its what you thought is the right thing for YOU. I hope that things will settle and you will no longer SH either. I get how dissapointed it make you/us feel when we do that. Remember you can always speak to your gp at a later date and say your not coping and maybe with your new car itll be easier to speak to your pscyhiatrist as well as it wont be so much trouble for you to get there so can make appointments at will and access it better as well.

Im glad the flu is finally going for you, its dreadful and it makes depression even more of a living hell. If you cant get to sleep we are here for you too. Try and get some sleep though, cuddle up to your Mrs and try to keep those nightmares at bay

Hi @Former-Member and thanks for replying. I am thinking of telling my GP when I see her Friday week. I know it will be hard, but it is something I have to do in order that all involved in my care stays on the same page. I am sure my GP will then contact my psychiatrist.

I had a rough night last night and cried myself to sleep. This morning my dear cousin (the only family who talks to me) told me she wanted to end her life. I said I know what that feels like and offered if she feels out of control and feels really horrible at any time, she can phone day or night and I will talk to her. I'll even go to her house if she needs me. I know what it feels like to feel totally alone in depression.

The upside is I got front of stage Robbie tickets!!!! I am super excited about that, especially as it is the Mrs' first concert. I've got my recovery support worker coming later to work on my recovery goals. Here's to that I too. I hope today continues to go ok.

im glad your considering telling your gp about how your really going and yes im sure she will tell your psychiatrist. Your psychiatrist should respect your decision to have not told him as well.

Aww you poor thing, its hard enough supporting yourself let alone others but I know that big heart of yours will help that cousin no matter what. This is something that the 2 of you can now talk about as well and be comfrotable talking about to an extent.
I hope that she gets the help she needs and deserves and with you guiding her im sure she will be ok with time. I would say soon but I also know how these work and arent a short term thing.

Thats awesome! Im glad you were able to get those tickets! Im sure you and your Mrs will have a great ball!

@Queenie

hugs to you @Former-Member