SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

I really need help, practical tips & emotional support (not pressure) to d'clutter, scale back, spring clean, sell up, move house (downsize).
WHY?
- to try get unstuck (dying here), but mostly practical reasons
- to unburden myself of unviable financial, social, health & physical burdens. I have physical Health problems starting to limit mobility (esp steps & yard work). This small town community is insular with poor services and not much to do. My house is over a century old, broken 4BR cottage often requiring inaffordable tradies.

Every time i've tried to declutter - Anxiety, Complicated Grief and Depression gang up against me from the inside and stop progress - I become discouraged 😥 confused 😲 (cant make decisions) 😦 - what to keep? what if i need it? will any givers be offended 😱 everyone expects me to fail again anyway... 😖 ... 😒 Social phobia catches up with other MIs and... 😟😞 It ads to the pressure when rude shallow onlookers (near everyone irl) put their two bobs worth 😏😞 - with their 'just do's' & 'you should's...' & 'I did it back when... or 'I knew someone...' - prattling off long lists of successful stories that make my effort look pathetic. OR they compare - gloat how thi one or that could do it while *raising 10 kidz *holding down a full time job and *finishing a PhD... etc blar-blar! (slight exageration there to make a point lol). What i actually hear them say is "you have.nothing else to do - just do it!!!" And they're right - i only have me, 8-16hrs casual work, no spare money, no dependants, no study, no hubby or cuddle companion, poor emotional stability? no close friends or family, no in home help or community support worker, near no practical support, no fitness, no clear future... See how depressing it is?
Every time, i've tried, every spring, for years now - i end up falling in a heap hating myself & life 😳

Moving house aside - I just want help to do first things first, the little jobs & decisions and also to hear how each of you copes - what's normal...

@soul, @Maggie, @Faith-and-Hope, @,Dec, @utopia, and anyone... All welcome.

This is a good Q to put out there first:
Today I stacked all my sauspans together, sooooo many! Can't decide which ones to get rid of... & keep? Theyre all wonderful. What do you think?

Massively impressed by your plan to declutter @Former-Member. Probably the most important thing is to tackle one area at a time, even one cupboard at a time. Otherwise it can be overwhelming. It really is quite amazing how little you really need and can by with.

I lost everything in my divorce - was overseas at the time. I had to start from scratch when I returned to Oz.

Saucepans - three is fine. I only have two.

Everything will come under one of these four categories - keep, sell, give away, throw away.

You will be amazed how good you will feel once you start. Be warned, sometimes it's difficult to see the progress along the way.

Looking forward to seeing tips from other peeps. All the best.

Hi @soul, how was your day? Sorry to hear you lost everything in your divorce overseas 😞 That's rough, not fair. Thanks for your reply, for saying you are "Massively impressed by plan to declutter" 👍 And for your great tips

SOUL'S DECLUTTER TIPS:
¶ DO ONE AREA AT A TIME: " Tackle one area at a time" One cupboard, one drawer, one corner...
¶ SAUCEPANS - three is fine.
¶ CATEGORIZE "everything goes under one of four categories: KEEP, SELL, GIVE, THROW.
¶ DON'T BE DISCOURAGED "Warning! it's sometimes difficult to see progress along the way"

@Former-Member I've moved twice in the last 18mths and its was horrendous. De cluttering is the way to go and I'm with @soul one area at a time. Sallies will come and pick up what you don't want if you want to give it away, or sell on gumtree. I didn't have help either and the same issues as you have, just slowly does it. Take break in between packing to sit in the sun with a coffee and listen to the birds. We're here listening and caring.

Wish I was there to help you @Former-Member. We'd work together, stopping to have a cuppa and a snack. You'd tell me the story behind an ornament or such.

Yeah, I had relocated taking just a suitcase of clothes with me. Back here my ex decided he wanted to sell the house. I reluctantly agreed and he hired a skip and threw out everything left of mine. My daughter salvaged a few things for me but most of it was gone. Nothing I could do.

When I left Australia I had to pack up where I was living. Had been there for just over a year. Sold what I could. New furniture and appliances went for a third of the cost. Had a garage sale. My neighbour took a lot of things. Was supposed to pay me something for them but after I had left, told me she didn't have the money so she got it all for free - hundreds of dollars worth of stuff. I didn't follow it up.

At the end of it all, it taught me that these things are just possessions. I have my memories and unless I develop dementia, they will remain. Fortunately I have some photos not all but enough.

@Former-Member you're starting with the saucepans. Good. Divide them into two or even three sets. Keep one set to use. Box up the other one (if there is a third one it goes into another box ..... label and set aside. Use the basic set you kept. You will soon know if you are short a saucepan or two in a specific size, and can retrieve those from the boxes.

You will begin to feel how fresh it is to be working with only what you need in terms of pans .... unencumbered. You can go through the utensils drawer next, and things like graters and strainers. Whatever you have unnecessary extras of can be divided into the saucepan box / es and you will begin to notice that they become a kitchen set. They can be sold or given away like that, perhaps to someone moving into or out of their own home.

Started writing the above last night then fell asleep ....

You may find that boxing up the extra stuff helps to remove you from it emotionally, making it easier to let go. If we relinquish something, it creates space in our life to receive something else in its place.

I reckon we should organise a working bee @Former-Member place. What do you think @utopia@CheerBear@Faith-and-Hope@Maggie? We'd get the job done in no time.