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stressful years taking their toll

MumbearCasual Contributor22 Aug 2017, 9:29 pm AEST

stressful years taking their toll

So the basis of my story goes a little like this... the last few years have been tough to say the least and I feel like I lost the old me somewhere in that haze..
Multiple pregnancy losses (one late) unfaithful husband, marriage separation/reconciliation job losses, financial strains, high risk pregnancies and family issues, rapid weight gain all seemed to pile on top of me one after the other. I am blessed with two beautiful children. I feel that everything has taken its toll, I am still quite young (I think anyway) and it's like I haven't had a break it's one thing after the other.
I am left 30kg heavier and my stress and anxiety hits me at the craziest times. It's mostly about ilnesses I fear that if I take the kids out to certain places I'm exposing them to so many germs etc and then at home I find myself drowning in the most simple of tasks. My Doctor has wanted to see me regarding this and you know what i havent gone, I didn't even go to my post birth checkup because the thought of having to organise both kids at the doctors and then someone coughing on them or something really didn't seem worth it. My mood swings and resentment are hacking away at my once spritly marriage.

If I could just get that old me back somehow.
I would love to hear from any similar people in similar situations?
Sorry for the lonnng post

5 replies

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In response to: stressful years taking their toll

Unknown userMember22 Aug 2017, 9:44 pm AEST

Re: stressful years taking their toll

Hi @Mumbear
Sounds as though you've had a lot going on... for a while. I'm a single mama of 2 as well and its tough. Add in anxiety and what not and there's just so much to handle!
The anxiety about ilness/health etc sounds like its really stopping you from doing so many things. There are afew people on the forums that spring to mind that have been dealign with this type of thing. @outlander is one (do you know other outlander?).
Glad that you have joined the forums and hope that you find lots of support and understanding here (i'm sure you will 🙂 ) feel free to jump into any posts anywhere if you'd like to have a chat or join other convos!
Take care for now

In response to: stressful years taking their toll

Unknown userMember22 Aug 2017, 9:54 pm AEST

Re: stressful years taking their toll

Understand @Mumbear
I suffer anxiety,and it's controlling me,sounds like you have health anxiety?.I never had kids,but suffering with fat in the belly from eating from stress,and the cortisol hormone.Not feeling confident,invited to a wedding,can't go due to anxiety and worried how I look when I sit down as I look like I'm 9 months.I am very bitter.Do you walk or exercise ?Hope others can help you.Realise your frustrations,and your insight that you know you need to do something because it is affecting your family life.If you have confidence in your doctor take him up on his offer.I know the impact anxiety has in my life,my limitations,my inability to control it.

In response to: stressful years taking their toll

outlanderSenior Contributor22 Aug 2017, 9:56 pm AEST

Re: stressful years taking their toll

Hi @Mumbear
I am not in the same situation as you. I do however suffer from the anxiety your talking of. Depending on the assessment the dr can give you it sounds alot like health anxiety. So pretty much overthe top anxiety over health fears and illnesses.
I cant quite think of anyone else at this point with this but im sure many mums have this. Esp after traumatic events such as miscarriages. Im sorry you had to go through that.
I would really reccomend you go to your gp and have a chat and also i think seeing a psychologist would help you.
Are you able to organise a visit to your gp while the littlies are at school or with a family member?

We are right here backing you through these troubles ok.. your not alone ❤

In response to: Re: stressful years taking their toll

Unknown userMember22 Aug 2017, 10:41 pm AEST

Re: stressful years taking their toll

Hi @Mumbear

It's Arie here, one of the moderators on the forum.

I just wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the Sane forums - it looks like you are finding your way around and linking in with other members. In case you havent been able to locate them (they can be a little tricky to find) I have included a link to the Community Guidelines. They have been developed to help develop and maintain a sense of safety and belonging on the forums. When it get a chance you can familarise yourself with them.

So again Welcome and happy posting!

In response to: Re: stressful years taking their toll

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 Aug 2017, 1:04 pm AEST

Re: stressful years taking their toll

Hello @Mumbear

You have had so many things to deal with, one after the other. I had a lot of stress and no support and went downhill for a long time. I also thought I want my "old me" back.

For a while raising your children comes first, but dont over stress about things that are not essential.

Looking after you is as important as the children. You are a family unit.

I know the old thing that there are more germs on a hospital floor etc ... but

If you are too protective about germs then the children's immune systems do not get practise ... they need to be exposed to a few germs so their systems learn to fight back.

How old are your children?

I am actually getting my old me back. It can happen for you. It has taken a while, but it is happening. I am more vunerable and less naive and I see a lot of the reasons behind why things are as they are. My pain is still there but meaning is in my life and that helps.

Give yourself lots of time

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