Hi JT,
I so relate to what you are talking about! I also have a lot of memory problems, although it's not nearly as bad as it was 5 years ago (when it hit rock bottom).
I could go on about days when I would get distracted constantly from what I intended to do so I would wander around the house the whole day trying to do housework and I would be doing well if I managed to do 1 load of washing as well as care for my then infant son. I would get to 3pm and be having a massive anxiety attack and had no idea why, then logically work out I hadn't eaten all day - anxiety and hunger still have exactly the same physical feelings for me. I also have an extraordinarily good memory for details of things that seem etched in my brain - sometimes word for word conversations which people hate! Five years ago, in the aftermath of the Victorian bushfires, I was so bad I could hardly bear to leave the house, if I went to the supermarket to buy 4 things I'd only remember 2, if I wrote a list I couldn't find it.
What's changed for me? Things are different on two levels.
First I've finally got some good ongoing help dealing with the trauma which was a major cause of the memory overload I was suffering (not saying this is cause of yours, may be something different). I've been able to have a thorough but fairly gentle search through my internal "closet" and get well acquainted with the skeletons there. Now they are mostly fairly quiet and when they aren't I usually know why and can be kind to myself.
Second I've learned to get a lot better at self-care things which help me function better in lots of ways. This has been a very long road and I continue to work at it. Eating meals when I should, trying to sleep reasonable hours even when I'm a bit manic or triggered, putting my needs before others when I really need to (instead of last), taking life much more quietly and not running around so much, being kinder to myself for being an imperfect very flawed human being who is nevertheless doing her best to survive and grow whilst keeping her family together.
Sooo this is a very long way of answering your post. What I'm trying to say is that there are good reasons why you are struggling with your memory, which you may not be aware of. The reasons may be in the past or the present or both. With time, self-compassion, and working at it with some good help you will figure out what helps and your memory will improve.
One other thing that has helped is playing cognitiver games on Lumosity.com, but that's a fairly new thing (about 1.5 years). This also might be worth a try, I don't know.
All the best in working on it. It's been a long road for me but incredibly worthwhile.
Kind regards,
Kristin