Caring for partner with Bipolar Type 2

Hey @Littletink_

I care for my husband (Mr Darcy) who has BPii, lack of motivation is a tough one as it can often be a side effect of medication or of depression - is your partner taking any medication for her condition? Does she attend appointments? Mr Darcy is still recovering after an acute episode 19 months ago and motivation has been a problem and in no way do I underestimate the effect MI has on us as carers.

It is well documented that supportive family relationships improve outcomes for patients and prevent relapses but getting the balance can be difficult. Wanting to be a partner and lover not a nanny. Having appropriate involvement leads to a happy relationship (and I think that the seriousness of this condition is often not mentioned - excluding a carer is shown to have negative effects). For us it means that I dish out the meds (as per instruction from pdoc as he attempted), still monitor when bloods need doing (although he now rings and books the appointments), I will advocate for him but give him as much autonomy as possible, respecting his feelings.

For me, psychoeducation has been extremely helpful and was the start of things improving for the better, understanding about BPii and mental health in general. I found that approaching Mr Darcy's condition as one would a non psychiatric chronic medical condition helped me/us when it came to the management of his health. I came across this statement "It is maybe the most profound disservice of all to tell a patient that their depressive or bipolar symptoms are the result of biology or chemical imbalances and thus absolve them of the responsibility of learning new ways of interpreting and coping with their environment"

Sadly we cannot force motivation but having realistic expections and slowly encouraging the patient to do things - it might be one small task a day - can often give them a sense of achievement, so often they are aware of the effect their disorder has on the ones they love. Important though to be firm with what we feel is acceptable or not (also called setting boundaries).

Getting support for yourself is important too - there are some thread in relation to self care and I encourage you to look at them.

Hope this is a little bit of help, happy to expand a bit more, happy to answer any questions or give you links as to where you can get carer support - just let me know what state you are in.

Darcy

Hi @Littletink_,

I hope all is well.

There are a number of approaches that may be useful. I wonder if any other forum users have any thoughts?

I have a suggestion, but it is in no way a gauranteed fix or solution, however you and your partner may find it useful. Its a practical and easy thing to try.

Would your partner (and even yourself if you feel a role-model approach might help) be willing to write-up some 'to-do-lists' for daily activities, and then she can prioritise the activities, and assign either (1) a particular time period for those things to be done; or (2) if they seem too difficult to do at this point in time, write down a reason why it seems too difficult to do, and then get her to write down what things might help her to do these things (you may like to do this together, to start off with).

This may help as it engages her awareness in what needs to be done. It may also help enhance motivation, especially as things get ticked-off the list more and more; especially if you have small celebrations/recognitions when things have been done. It may also help your partner in creating an 'active' routine and re-gaining a sence of self-determinacy and self-worth.

It means you are still being supportive, helpful, and caring, and she wont think your not willing to help, or that your trying to pass-the-buck, so to speak. It also means you wont be enabling her apathy or percieved lack of responsibility.